


Out of the frying pan/into the fire

by OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH



Series: Nightstalker [7]
Category: American Revolution RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A case of the feels, Alex's mental health is Not Great, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, America's founding Bisexual Human Disaster roasts Dan Savage on Twitter, American Politics, Anal Sex, Bad Decisions, Benedict Arnold Betrays His Country Due To Kinkshaming, Blackmail, Blatantly ripping off House of Cards, Blatantly ripping off the plot of Spotlight because I'm the Worst, Blindfolds, Campaign to de-cinnamon roll The Marquis de Lafayette, Daddy Kink, Ethically dubious foreign policy, Everyone Is An Asshole, Everyone Is Frank Underwood And I Regret Nothing, F/F, Feminization, Gawker Media Roast Fest, Homophobic Language, Homophobic Slurs, Implied/Referenced Assault, Institutional Racism, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Misogyny, Intrigue, It's About Ethics In Sleazebag Journalism, Journalism, Lets all drag Henry Kissinger, Lingerie, M/M, Maguffins in the form of severed pigs heads, Maria Reynolds is a Cool Girl (R)(TM), Misogyny, Noncinsensual voyeurism, Pen pal Thomas Jefferson, Praise Kink, Presidential Election, QPQVerse, Racism, Realpolitik, Riding, Scandal, Sex worker abuse, Sex worker stigma, Sexism, Suicide mention, Ted Cruz is not the Zodiac Killer, The Author Regrets Everything, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threesome - F/M/M, Twitter, Victim Blaming, What happens in walgreens stays in walgreens, Why Did I Write This?, backroom deals, only an inferior copycat, revenge porn, sex scandals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 27,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH/pseuds/OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>George Washington and Alexander Hamilton managed to keep their relationship under wraps and away from the media, even through a successful Presidential campaign. </p><p>But the White House has a thousand eyes. </p><p>Part of the QPQ Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stop comparing me to Rachel Maddow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Quid Pro Quo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880157) by [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/pseuds/rillrill). 



> Here's the not particularly anticipated sequel to 18 Car Pileup. 
> 
> Timeline wise, this starts roughly 2 years after Quid Pro Quo.

“How did you know I'm running for President?”

“I hear things.”

Typical Deborah. Always hearing things. Washington didn't resent her for it--God knows how many times her ability to learn gossip first had saved his hide. 

“What do you want?”

“I suppose you've heard about the deal with Warner Brothers.” After Nightstalker’s surprise Pulitzer win, Warner Bros made a development deal to do a syndicated TV show. “It'd be a ratings coup if you announced your candidacy on the show.”

“And why would I want to do that? Lee was thinking about arranging a sit-down with Rachel Maddow--”

“And nobody fucking watches Rachel Maddow. Nobody you're gonna need votes from anyways. Your biggest liability is that you're DC establishment who can't connect with the average American. The average American doesn't give a fuck about cable news. But they read Nightstalker.”

“I don't think that's my biggest liability.” There had been murmurs about him and Alexander, mostly in the comments sections of Gawker and Wonkette, nothing serious, but Washington knew that everything would be magnified and analyzed. 

“Idiots in comment sections can be easily handled. And your biggest antagonists are headed to federal prison.”

“Madison took a deal.”

“Because he wants this to go away, wants to see his kids graduate high school, and was pissed off at Jefferson. Him and Dolley want to stay out of the news for the forseeable future.”

Fair point. The Madisons rolled easily, exchanging testimony for lighter sentences. Anyone connected to the scandal was Republican kryptonite. 

“What about Von Steuben.”

“He'll get the endorsement from the HRC, and he might throw some passive-aggressive barbs your way during the debates. Straight people aren't good at detecting that shit. Besides, that'll make your appearance look good. You'll have the biggest faggot in media in your pocket.”

Washington winced. Deborah never shied away from colorful language, and only responded to chastisement with even more swearing. But still…

“Don't give me that look, fuckface.”

“If you were anyone else, Deborah.”

“I know. Do we have a deal?”

Washington paused. Announcing his candidacy in such a manner would be groundbreaking. It would get people talking. And Deborah could steer the conversation in the right direction, away from things he'd rather not talk about. Fine. This will work. 

“We have a deal.”


	2. The storm before the calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's really happening. It had been happening for a while, there was paperwork filing, strategy meetings, fundraising dinners, an endless stream of polls.

**BREAKING: SENATOR GEORGE WASHINGTON ANNOUNCES RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NIGHTSTALKER FOUNDER**

Senator George Washington (D-VA) announced his candidacy today in an exclusive interview with  _ Nightstalker  _ founder Deborah Sampson. Washington, accompanied by his wife Martha Washington, spoke about his record in the House and Senate and his commitment to improving veterans services. Washington and some of his staffers also made a stop at the newsroom to discuss the day's biggest headlines. 

Video of Washington’s announcement can be found  here , check your local listings to catch George Washington’s entire visit on today's episode of  _ Nightstalker Live! _

 

_ * _

 

It's really happening. It had been happening for a while, there was paperwork filing, strategy meetings, fundraising dinners, an endless stream of polls. 

Alex had to sit down with Tench Tilghman and tell him every sordid detail about his relationship with George Washington, everyone who knew about their relationship, and their involvement in stealing the hard drive. 

Now everything was out in the open. There were interviews, more fundraisers, trips to Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina and Nevada and Buzzfeed had dug up all of Alex’s old twitter fights with Comcast. Washington's new assistant, some Philadelphia lawyer's daughter who had gone to Bryn Mawr and William and Mary had to comb through his account and delete most of his old Twitter feuds.

Alex remembered the chaos of the first few months of his relationship with Washington, how George had said “I am going to steer this ship through the storm.” This time, they knew what they were going into. They had a plan. The chaos was of their own making, and Alex had two years to learn how to be three steps ahead of anyone else’s bullshit. 

_ Bring it on _ .

  
  



	3. At the corner of happy and healthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy was so lost in the wall of lipstick that she didn't notice the woman next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes down in a Walgreens on Election Day.

FROM: Bryn Mawr Alumni Magazine

TO: Peggy Shippin

RE: Interview

 

Hello!

I realize that you're incredibly busy right now, but The Alumni Magazine would love to interview you for our Spring Issue,  no matter what happens tonight. Congratulations on all your hard work on the campaign!

-Mary Goddard, Managing Editor

 

*

 

Boy, _that_ was rich. Peggy could imagine being asked _“what was your role during_ _the campaign?”_ and answering “I handed the President hand sanitizer, and bought lipstick and lube for his campaign strategist on Election Day. My education at Bryn Mawr totally prepared me to spend precious time standing in front of the CoverGirl display of a Charlottesville Walgreens”.

The worst part was how _casual_ Hamilton was about it. He had approached her after the morning meeting, with a hastily scribbled list. “Mind running to a drugstore  and grabbing a few things? I'm booked all day and so is Eliza.” It was only after Peggy pulled up to the Walgreens that she took a look at the list.

-lube (sorry!)

-red lipstick

-black liquid eyeliner

-mascara

_Christ._ And she thought babysitting Alex's Twitter feed was the low point of the campaign.

Peggy thought about texting George Frederick, maybe he'd know about Alex’s lube preferences and makeup fetish (is that a thing? makeup fetishes?), but George was quite _talkative_ and that could cause problems.

Peggy was so lost in the wall of lipstick that she didn't notice the woman next to her.

 

*

 

Maria was tired. Tired of the election, tired of Denton’s rants, tired of Deborah Sampson’s weird ascent as a respected news personality  (Getting Washington to announce his run on her show? Hosting SNL? Really?), tired of Gawker not getting credentialed for either candidate's events. Maria wasn't exactly looking forward to liveblogging election results in her hotel room with members of the New York team, so she was at Walgreens picking up coconut water and Red Bull.

It was a nice Walgreens, at least. Some local yokel at the hotel mentioned that it used to be the site of a Long John Silver’s. Whatever. Maria was headed to the register when she saw a young woman looking positively flummoxed over by cosmetics. Staring at red lipsticks. Red lipstick was one of Maria’s minor hobbies, and this poor girl looked totally overwhelmed. Might as well help her out.

She was young, wearing dress pants, a blouse, and a blazer. Maybe a campaign staffer or an intern.

“Need help?”

She nearly jumped a foot in the air. Maria was quiet on her feet, a good skill to have in her line of work.

“I-- uh, yeah. Could use. Some help.”

Maria picked up a tube of lipstick.

“This would look great with your skin tone.”

The girl turned beet red.

“No, not for me. Someone else. I have a list of crap to get and--”

“Can I take a look?”

She handed over a crumpled list. The handwriting looked _familiar._ If Maria wasn't mistaken, it looked like Alexander Hamilton’s. No wonder this kid looked so flustered.

“So, the person you're shopping for..Tan skin, long black hair, brown eyes, goatee?”

The girl’s eyes widened in recognition. Christ. Hamilton could be such an _asshole_.

“Wait a minute you're Maria Reynolds. I shouldn't be talking to you--”

“Look. Doing stupid tasks for asshole bosses fucking sucks. I get it. I just wanted to help you out. And I will, if you let me. Off the record. Hamilton’s weird fetishes wouldn't make a good story.”

Okay, that was a lie. A half-lie. There was a conversation in the newsroom Slack dedicated to guessing the proclivities of the candidates, and a few years back, Alex Hamilton’s shopping list would make a fun story. But after _Nightstalker_ won a ( _mother fucking public service_ ) Pulitzer, Denton pivoted Gawker (again), and sent email after email about “building relationships with sources”, “going deeper”, and “don't settle for snark”.

The girl relented. Maria grabbed a dark red lipstick that would look good on Hamilton (which was _quite_ the mental image), Revlon liquid eyeliner, curling mascara, and a bottle of the best lube Walgreens had to offer.

She looked relieved. “Thanks, I-- you're a real lifesaver.”

“No problem, and, I know you had to sign an ironclad NDA, and I know that Washington doesn't care for Gawker, but if you ever want to talk, here's how to find me.” Maria handed her card.

“Thanks, I have to get back, I--”

“I'm sure you're busy today. Good luck tonight.”

 

*

 

Maria Reynolds @mariareynoldS

What happens in Walgreens, stays in Walgreens. #girlcode

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moral of the story is buy your own damn lube.


	4. Happy Birthday, Mr. President

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I'm gonna ruin you, old man.”
> 
> “Try me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will face God and walk backwards into hell.

They called the election just before midnight.

George knew, they were expecting this, their numbers were strong going into Election Day, but he didn't want to be too confident,  pride cometh before the fall. Cornwallis called to concede, Alex leapt into the air and shrieked, there was confetti and balloons. George and Martha, and the entire Schuyler family took the stage at the UVA quad for the victory speech.

Cameras everywhere. There had been cameras and press throughout the campaign, but George knew that he would be under greater scrutiny. Everything was going to change.

Alex slipped away shortly after they arrived at the reception for the campaign, claiming exhaustion. George shivered a little, clearly his boy was up to something, and as much as he wanted to go straight to the hotel and devour him, there were hands to shake and pictures to pose for.

So he sipped on bourbon, shook hands, and his assistant fed him names of donors and party people. Martha was radiant as she worked the room, Eliza nearby.

It was Eliza who whispered to Martha, who then approached George and murmured in his ear.

“Sounds like Alex is ready for you.”

Washington said his goodbyes, kissed Martha for the cameras, and was escorted to the hotel.

He'll have this security detail for the rest of his life. He'll have men outside his room, following him everywhere, for the rest of his life. Silent seeing eyes and ears everywhere he went. None of them said anything about his closeness with Alex, about the sound of his hand striking Alex’s ass for every delegate won in the primaries. Of course they wouldn't, but he had valued his privacy and now everything was about to become less private.

Any thoughts he had were erased as soon as he opened the door of the suite, and saw his boy sprawled on the bed.

He was wearing a white silk peignoir, glittery Louboutin pumps, and _was that lipstick?_

“Congratulations, Daddy. Or, should I say,   _Mr. President?”_

Washington’s cock twitched. He simply kneeled at the bed, at a loss for words.

“Can't talk, Daddy?”

“I--no.”

Alex grinned as he swung his legs around, got up from the bed, and stood in front of George. He grabbed his tie. “Get up”. George rose and Alexander lead him to the other side of the bed and threw him down.

He was wearing lipstick. And eyeliner, and his eyelashes looked longer and darker. _Christ_. George sat up, wanting to drink in how good his boy looked.

“Like what you see?”

“Yes”

Alex slipped off the peignoir. George groaned. He was expecting a corset, or a matching lingerie set, not an intricate arrangement of rose gold and silver chains draped obscenely around his body.

Alex straddled him, grinding against his cock, clearly enjoying the affect his appearance had on George. “What do you want, Mr. President?”

“Whatever you'll give me.”

Alexander unzipped his trousers and lazily stroked Washington, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

“I'm gonna ruin you, old man.”

“Try me.”

Alexander grabbed him, kissing him roughly, with no concern for smearing his lipstick. He grabbed a bottle of lube and slicked up Washington, and then seated himself onto Washington’s cock.

“Alex--”

His cock slid easily into Alex --his boy had prepared himself, and groaned as he began fucking himself on Washington’s length.

“I didn't want to wait, so I got ready for you. _God_ you feel so good, Mr. President.”

Alex soon devolved into incoherent babbling as he fucked himself onto Washington, with one hand rapidly stroking his own cock.

Alex came with a shout, spilling all over Washington’s suit. The sight of Alex over the edge, groaning wantonly with flushed cheeks and red lips was enough for Washington, and he came with a shudder.

His boy tried to stand up, but was unsteady on his feet. “Careful princess.”

“M’alright, Daddy.”

Alex slipped off his heels and slowly began undressing George. Alex started singing, imitating Marilyn Monroe’s breathy voice.

_“Happy birthday to youuuuuu”_

_“Happy birthday to youuuuuu”_

_“Happy birthday, Mister Presideeeent”_

_“Happy birthdaaaaay to youuuuuuu”_

They both collapsed into a fit of giggles.

“Alex take off that goddamn contraption and get into bed.”

They dozed off in each other's arms, feeling warm skin against skin, traces of Alex’s lipstick still on George's cheek.

 

*

 

Outside the door, Ben nodded to the officer patrolling the hallway, and murmured into his wrist. “Nothing to report.” He had already forgotten the sound of Hamilton’s attempt at imitating Marilyn Monroe, just as he'd forgotten seeing Martha Washington and Eliza Schuyler enter Martha’s suite arm-in-arm, just as he'd forgotten everything else that had transpired on the campaign trail.

His stomach churned at the thought of the Washingtons carrying on like this in the White House.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the lingerie Alex is wearing (link HIGHLY NSFW) http://www.agentprovocateur.com/us_en/akiko-playsuit-rosegold-and-silver


	5. DC/Tucson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deborah could see tomorrow’s headlines now, “PRESIDENT SERENADES FIRST LADY AT INAUGURAL BALL.” She could also see that George wasn't quite looking directly at Martha, he was looking over her.

“Pinch me.”

“Later, sweetie.”

Deborah sipped her coffee as she watched President Washington twirl the First Lady around the dancefloor. George was an excellent dancer, Martha looked radiant. Everyone at their table beamed. They had the best table in the ballroom, closest to the stage, and the best dinner companions. Alex and Eliza were playing the role of the happy up-and-coming DC power couple, Lafayette and Adrienne were charming, and showed everyone pictures of little Georges. Deborah had muttered to Molly that theirs was the Dirty Little Secrets table. Molly had swatted her arm playfully.

George and Martha finished their dance, and George was handed a microphone as the music changed. Martha moved to the side of the stage, right in front of their table.

_“You make me feel so young”_

_“You make me feel like Spring has sprung”_

Deborah could see tomorrow’s headlines now, “PRESIDENT SERENADES FIRST LADY AT INAUGURAL BALL.” She could also see that George wasn't _quite_ looking directly at Martha, he was looking over her.

Alex looked overwhelmed, like he was trying very hard not to cry.

 

*

 

If Jefferson had his way, they would not be watching the inaugural ball. Ted was the one who decided what to watch during TV time, and Ted wanted to watch the Inaugural Ball, so everyone in Jefferson’s cell block watched all of his old colleagues mince around in tuxedos and ballgowns. Ted was the only lifer on their block, and was the only other prisoner to have a security detail. Jefferson, who hadn't hurt anybody, was lower on the pecking order than a fucking serial killer. 

The only thing worse was how much everyone else seemed to enjoy the pompous spectacle of it all, which only reminded Jefferson that it could've been him. He could've been the toast of DC, instead of occupying a deluxe cell in USP Tucson. But no, Washington’s fucking boytoy and the bitter bitches at _Nightstalker_ had other ideas. Now he was in Tuscon, America's sphincter, for the next forty years. No, thirty-nine. Time passed slowly in the desert wasteland. 

Nobody bothered to call or visit. All of his staffers fled, James and Dolly took plea deals, told everything and insisted it was all Jefferson’s idea (bullshit) the party was in freefall, and Cornwallis didn't even enter the race until he was nominated on the second ballot at the convention. The only visitor he ever got was his idiot lawyer, to give him updates about the sale of Monticello.

Everything was gone. The only thing Jefferson had was the fierce determination to do whatever it took to get paroled before his dick stopped working. Fine, whatever. He'll play nice with Ted, keep out of trouble, stay in shape, teach GED classes, go to AA meetings, attend Bible studies, fight back the urge to throw his plastic shoe at Washington’s face on the TV.

Americans love a good redemption story.

 

*

 

Maria paused the livestream on her laptop, and zoomed in.

Martha was right in front of one of the tables, in a spotlight. There was Deb Sampson and her wife, the Secretary of State and her husband and…

Was Alex _crying_?

Maria pulled out her phone.

 

To: [Walgreens Girl]

wtf is Alex crying?

 

From: [Walgreens Girl]

I think so?

He's been acting really weird lately

Not like, walgreens weird tho.

 

To: [Walgreens Girl]

Tell me more.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mess with Ted.


	6. 100 Days of Email Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prison email was different from regular email: The Federal Bureau of Prisons used a private contractor that charged inmates 5 cents a minute, and read all outgoing and incoming messages. Jefferson’s computer time was limited, making their brief conversations take days to reach each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next couple of chapters are the first 100 Days from the perspective of different characters. First up, Maria Reynolds.
> 
> Mind the tags, Maria is the type of Gawker employee that disregards rape accusations and belittles feminist criticism. Also, more TJeff grossness.

**100 Days, 100 Photos of Washington and Hamilton’s Rad Bromance**

By: Maria Reynolds 

FILED TO:  It's Guy Love Between Two Guys

 

 **Thomas Jefferson: Bad at Money** **Laundering, Great at Teaching Prison GED Courses**

By :Maria Reynolds 

FILED TO:  Disgraced Politicians: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

 

**Buzzfeed Describes FLOTUS, Eliza Schuyler as “BFF Goals AF”, Journalism is Dead and Words Have No Meaning**

By: Maria Reynolds 

FILED TO:  JOURNALISMISM 

 

Maria watched her posts rack up hits as she made notes in a draft and waited for Jefferson’s email. Each post was pretty clicky, the slideshow of Washington clapping Hamilton on the shoulder, or grabbing his wrist, or standing inches apart in the Oval Office was commentariat catnip, the Jefferson puff piece was cross-posted to Jezebel where it'd get hate clicks and spark a thousand frothy “DID U KNOW JEFFERSON IS A RAPIST????????????????” arguments among the Andrea Dworkin Fan Club, the Buzzfeed piece was just plain fun.

Prison email was different from regular email: The Federal Bureau of Prisons used a private contractor that charged inmates 5 cents a minute, and read all outgoing and incoming messages. Jefferson’s computer time was limited, making their brief conversations take days to reach each other.

He had been the one to get in touch, he was annoying as shit, but had mentioned that he had a juicy tip, but wanted positive coverage in exchange. He didn't want any of his good deeds to go unnoticed. 

“ _And what's so juicy that's worth my saying nice things about you?”_

_ “It has to do with Washington and his little princess. ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))” _

As soon as Maria had read that email, she had checked her disorganized list of White House Bullshit, and focused on a single bullet point:

-Alex’s Senate office nickname was Princess (started by Lafayette?)

Jefferson claimed that something _really_ was going on between POTUS and his Chief of Staff and had proof. Peggy’s texts certainly pointed in that direction, but Maria knew that Denton would want something ironclad. 

So Maria waited patiently. There was plenty of ridiculousness in DC to keep her occupied.

 

From: [Peggy-walgreens girl]

DUDE. POTUS AND HAMILTON ARE PISSED. 

 

To: [Peggy-walgreens girl]

POTUS?

 

From:[Peggy-walgreens girl]

He's not pleased abt the Jefferson story. 

He actually swore and everything. 

 

To: [Peggy-walgreens girl]

Huh 

 

From: [Peggy-walgreens girl]

Called Jefferson a shitweasel, I think 

 

Maria ignored her phone’s buzzing. She had a new email. 

 

FROM: “CorrLinks Email Client: Inmate No. 04131743”

TO: Maria Reynolds 

RE: daddy's little princess XD

 

Hi Maria. ;)

Per our previous conversation, I had a burner email when I was in the Senate. 

The address is  [ 69thezodiackiller420@hotmail.com ](mailto:69thezodiackiller420@hotmail.com) .

Password should be something like “TruffleMacNCheese, or something like that.

You'll know when you find it.

Give me a call when you do.

-TJ

 

*

 

It took a few tries with different capitalization, but Maria finally figured out the email password, and stared at years worth of junk messages in Jefferson’s inbox. It was a mix of the usual; promotions from Saks, PornHub email blasts, correspondence from what looked like an escort service, lots and lots of bullshit. 

Maria checked other folders. Nothing in Drafts, Spam, or Trash. She clicked on “Sent”, not expecting much. 

_ What the fuck was he doing emailing Deborah Sampson? _

  
RE: wear headphones, sweetheart   
  
_ daddyslittleprincess.mp3 _   
  
_ daddyandthetramp.jpg _   
  
I'm being very generous and sending you this before I talk to Maria Reynolds.   
  
Mr. Hamilton certainly has quite the way with words, doesn't he?   
  
Let's talk.   
  
-Macaroni

 

Maria popped in headphones, and nearly shrieked in the Starbucks.

_“Daddy”_  
  
_"Don't stop saying it, or I will stop."_  
  
_"Yes, Daddy . . . Daddy, please, Daddy, oh my God_ — _don't stop, please — please, don't stop, Daddy_ _— I need you to suck my cock, I love your mouth, please, Daddy, let me come, I don't care if it's with your hands or your mouth or if I have to do it myself, please, Daddy, just let me come for you —"_

Oh. Okay then.

 

*

 

Maria wished she could skip through the automated menu. Yes, she knew this was a prepaid call. Yes, she knew this was a call for Thomas Jefferson. Yes, she knew he was an inmate at Tucson Federal Correction Facility. 

Finally, Jefferson’s drawl replaced the robot voice. It wasn't much of an improvement. 

“Why Deborah Sampson?”

“Figured it'd be something she'd be interested in.  _ Nightstalker _ reaches a lot of people.”

“What was her response?”

“Sent one of her girls around. Was offering something like 30 grand for the footage.”

“Did you take the money?”

“Fuck no, sweetheart. They wanted me to give them exclusive rights to the footage. As soon as Deb’s girl said that, I knew they'd just take the recordings and hide ‘em. Before I could bring anything to you, that little faggot got involved and ruined my plans.”

“How'd he do that?”

“Took a bullet for Aaron Burr.”

_ Burr, huh _ .

“But, why now? Something like this would have torpedoed Washington’s campaign. Or helped during your trial.”

“Sorry, but I was a tad  _ preoccupied _ at the time, and I had forgotten about that email account. And my lawyer wanted me to keep a low profile, stay quiet, said that anything inflammatory would make things worse.”

“What changed?”

“I have time to think. And I'm in a much better position than the President.”

“How's that?”

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown, my dear. George is in a very precarious position--he's gotta run the country and maintain his image, pay attention to approval ratings. One slip and he'll fall off his pedestal. I'm in a shitty situation, but I can't really fall any further, now can I?”

“I guess not.”

Jefferson laughed. Maria pretended not to notice the hairs prickling on the back of her neck. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First person to discover the significance of Jefferson's inmate number gets a shitty nonexistent prize.


	7. 100 days of West Wing Housekeeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her pity party was interrupted by Hamilton barreling into the room, adjusting his tie, hair askew, cheeks flushed. Peggy handed him a hair tie on instinct, and prayed that he had washed his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first 100 days, according to Peggy Shippin. She's not having a great time.

Peggy opened the package at her desk. There was a copy of the Alumni magazine, a clipping from the Philadelphia Journal, signed cards from the Women's Club, the DAR, even her old Girl Scout Troop. 

Peggy stared at the magazine. They put her on the cover, so there she was, smiling outside the White House. 

The whole thing was ridiculous. Peggy supposedly represented “Bryn Mawr Values” because she worked a thankless menial job in the West Wing. Bryn Mawr: training women to take babysitting jobs for powerful men since 1885.

Her pity party was interrupted by Hamilton barreling into the room,  adjusting his tie, hair askew, cheeks flushed. Peggy handed him a hair tie on instinct, and prayed that he had washed his hands.

“Watcha reading?”

“Made the cover of my undergrad’s alumni magazine. Guess I'm famous now. Where's POTUS?”

“Finishing up an early morning meeting.”

“Alex, I know for a fact that he doesn't have any meetings scheduled until ten today.”

“Private meeting. Top secret.” Alex winked. Wow.  _ Real subtle.  _

“Sure, Alex.”

Alex rolled his eyes, and Peggy finally noticed that he was holding a shopping bag.

“These are for you. Let me know if they're the right size.”

(Last week, Alex had one of his notoriously bad migraines, and had vomited on Peggy’s Tory Burch flats. Alex for once, had made up for his dickish behavior. Or maybe the shoes and matching clutch were meant to act as hush money since Peggy witnessed the President carry Alex out of the West Wing, bridal-style. Whatever.)

She didn't know which irritated her more: that she was the last to know about the fact that the President was screwing (dating? both? ???) his Chief of Staff, or that neither of them had the balls to actually use their words and tell her. 

No, it was the fact that even before this, when her credentials were for the RSOB and not The West Wing, there was an unwritten pact to keep Peggy out of the office inside jokes and strategy sessions and rounds of golf. 

No, it wasn't any of that, either. 

Peggy had made the real outrageous, pie-in-the-sky assumption that after busting her ass on the campaign trail, she wouldn't be doing this any more, that she'd move into policy, legal, hell, maybe work in FLOTUS’ office. 

Nope. 

The only difference now was the venue, a generous pay raise, her Twitter Account was verified, and a poor communications intern was in charge of wrangling Alex’s Twitter. 

Washington strode in, looking dignified and put together and  _ not _ ridden hard and put away wet. Thank God. 

“Good morning, Ms. Shippin, what have we got going on today?”

Always Ms. Shippin. Never Peggy. 

“Meeting at ten with the Senate Majority Leader to discuss the maternity leave bill--”

“--That shouldn't take too long, it'll be smooth sailing through the Senate--”

“--Alex can you let me finish-- You've got the bill signing for the Puerto Rican debt relief plan at 2, with a luncheon to follow, Cabinet meeting at 4, and then a concert featuring the cast of the Bill Clinton musical at 6. And I'm in the middle of making travel arrangements for the trade conference in Nevis next month. The PM’s staffers recommended the Four Seasons, they're experienced with handling security details and--

Alex looked disgusted/affronted/shocked at the suggestion. 

“ _ \--Fuck _ the Four Seasons--I'm not fucking staying there--”

“Alexander, we will discuss that later.”

“We'll discuss it now.  _ Fuck  _ that place.”

“Mr. Hamilton, if the five-star amenities of the Four Seasons are not up to your standards, I will look into alternatives, but I've already spoken to other hotels in the area and none are capable of accommodating your boss’s  particular  _ room requests _ .”

(Separate suites for POTUS and FLOTUS, each with a connecting room for the COS, and Martha’s assistant, Eliza. Peggy usually got a room further down the hall.)

Washington glared at Peggy, because clearly she was the one misbehaving. Obviously. 

“Ms. Shippin, your commentary is not needed. I will discuss Alexander’s concerns privately, before the Whip’s meeting. You're dismissed until after the meeting. Take a walk, break in the new shoes.”

“Yes Mr. President.”

Peggy trudged outside at least the weather was nice. Ben had evening protection duty, maybe she could catch him and actually see each other in broad daylight. 

 

*

 

 

To: [Eggs Benedict]

The Lion threw another one of his tantrums today. Over hotel bookings in Nevis. Shoot me.

I'm free till 11:30 if you wanna get coffee.

/those things are related. 

  
  


From: [Eggs Benedict.]

Sbux. 20 min? Omw. Should I bring an airliner of Jack for u. Sry, but I won't shoot u. 2much hassle/paperwork. 

 

To: [Eggs Benedict]

Lol you're my hero. ;)

 

From: [Eggs Benedict]

<3

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drinking on the job is an unhealthy coping mechanism. Don't do that. 
> 
> ☆The More You Know☆


	8. 100 Days Behind Sunglasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which was stupid. Protective duty-- Executive Protective Duty was as high as it gets in the United States Secret Service. In theory, protecting POTUS was an honor and a privilege granted only to the best and brightest.
> 
> In practice, it was a load of bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Benedict Arnold kinkshames the first family, is an overall shitty dude. 
> 
> Mind the tags, staying accurate about the USSS means being frank about that institution's racism.

Nobody would tell him why the Service was occasionally sent to reroute traffic around Dupont Circle. Classified information. But still, Ben didn't mind it. It was a nice change of pace from standard protective duty, which, he discovered wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Which was stupid. Protective duty-- _Executive Protective Duty_ was as high as it gets in the United States Secret Service. In theory, protecting POTUS was an honor and a privilege granted only to the best and brightest.

In practice, it was a load of bullshit.

  


*

  


The campaign had been awful enough. Afterward, Ben was put back onto investigations, working out of a bureau in Baltimore  when he got the call right before the Inauguration. POTUS asked for him by name. He got a raise, was on the top end of the GS-14 pay scale, but the raise and LEAP didn't make up for having to hear the Duke rail the Lion in the Oval Office.

Lion. More like Alley Cat In Heat. Another guy, who was assigned to Mt. Vernon, would tell Ben that Martha took in a stray kitten and named it Ham. He had laughed so hard he almost pulled a muscle.

  


*

  


“Stand by, we've got the Lamb coming through with the Lion in 2 minutes.”

“Copy.”

At first, he feels bad for Eliza. God knows what POTUS must have on the Veep to make his daughter beard for the biggest asshole in DC. His sympathy is short-lived and ends abruptly when he's sent on personal detail for FLOTUS’ trip to visit startups and coding camps in San Francisco. He stops watching lesbian porn after that.

Later, over coffee, Peggy will be talking about how she wanted a transfer to FLOTUS’ team. Her eyes widen after he blurts “The Duchess doesn't go for blonde Bryn Mawr girls. She's more into dark-haired Vassar types.”

Ben waves the white Beemer through the traffic blockade, and watches another group of men escort Alex and Eliza into their apartment. That night,Ben will text Peggy, say that rerouting traffic is overkill, and she'll spill the beans and tell him that POTUS orders traffic to be rerouted when Alex goes home sick with migraines because he hates the noise. Ben will throw his phone against the wall.

 

*

 

The media is full of shit. Turning mountains out of molehills over some SJW bullshit.

A couple of guys throw a “trap party”, serve purple punch, watermelon, fried chicken, dress up in chains and durags. Whatever. Ben wasn’t even at the party because he had the late night shift.Anyway, _Nightstalker_ finds the pictures, raises a big stink about racism in the Secret Service, and suddenly some of the best guys on the team are fired, and POTUS makes a public statement about “enforcing transparency and accountability within The Secret Service.” Ben had wanted to scream “That's rich coming from the guy that wastes resources having us reroute traffic every time your boyfriend gets a headache!”, but he doesn't. He just stands in the corner of the press room, letting his sunglasses hide his death stare at the President. 

POTUS brings in Ben Tallmadge, ex-CIA guy, who's always up everybody's ass about every little thing. He orders more trainings, more evals, more paperwork, because that's the one thing the Service truly needed. More stress and now Ben has to worry about what he does in his precious off hours in case some bleeding heart liberal at the _Post_ gets a stick up their ass.

  


*

  


This is supposed to be hot. A sexy blonde girl moaning _Daddy_ underneath him should be the fulfillment of his adolescent fantasies. Instead, he pushes Peggy away.

 _Shit_.

“Sorry...just...don't _ever_ say that again. Fuck my life.”

Peggy backpedals,  babbling _ohshitsorrysorrysorryishouldveaskediamsofuckingsorry_ , beet red, curled up into a ball.

“No, it's not you. You're fine.”

_It's not you, it's the President._

“Peg, have you ever, uh, heard them?”

“No, holy shit, you've--”

“Yeah. The leader of the Free World likes to be called “Daddy.”

Peggy exploded with nervous laughter. She's such a good sport.

“Ben, _holy shit_ , they literally do not pay you enough _holy fuck_ , I am not gonna be able to make eye contact with anyone on Monday, _Jesus_. Does that qualify as hazard pay?”

“Don't think so. Not worth asking Tallmadge and getting my head bitten off.”

Peggy had grabbed her phone, was texting someone, she was always getting texts at strange hours.

“Who the fuck are you texting?”

“Maria Reynolds.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Secret Service Facts:
> 
> -the hours are long, people usually follow a 60 days on/30 days off schedule, even with LEAP, it pays less than the US Marshalls or FBI, which is one of the reasons why the USSS has had a harder time getting qualified recruits. 
> 
> -there are multiple class action lawsuits pending that allege widespread sexism and racism in hiring practices. 
> 
> -there's also an annual networking event that included making racist signs, and lynching effigys that was the primo way to network and get raises and promotions. 
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> Please imagine Ben Tallmadge as Idris Elba.


	9. 100 Days In The Oval Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fortunately, neither of them had time to think about flag-draped caskets or riderless horses. Their agenda for the first hundred days took precedence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first 100 days through the eyes of POTUS and his COS.
> 
> Note: there's references to Alex's past suicidal ideations and current Not Great mental health, so please tread carefully.

Dying is easy, living is harder.

Before the Inauguration, George had to make his funeral arrangements. State funerals had a set template; one had only to make a preference for the church, the type of coffin, the final resting place. Before he even took the Oath of Office, George had to confront his own mortality.

George had made the plans with Martha, and only informed Alex when everything was completed. Alexander had once admitted the fear that George would outlive him, opened up about the dark thoughts that had plagued him in college. George had listened, let his boy steer the conversation, work through it all at his own pace.

Fortunately, neither of them had time to think about flag-draped caskets or riderless horses. Their agenda for the first hundred days took precedence.

They didn't have time for much of anything,  really. There were meetings, state visits, dinners, strategy sessions, photo ops. The intense scrutiny of the outside world was unbearable. Washington had always had a strong supportive staff, but now he had more departments, staffers, and handlers briefing and grooming him.

Fortunately Alex was good at limiting access, screening out the superfluous. Perhaps too good--the press didn't take too kindly to some of his antics, but better that Alex be known as the President’s personal attack dog than anything else.

Still.

He had told him “Pace yourself, you can't keep going on like this for 4 years.”

“Or eight.”

_Or eight._

George knew it was early, but he was beginning to think that making it through four years, let alone eight would be impossible.

  


*

 

Alex was fine. His sleep cycle was more fucked than usual, he kept getting debilitating migraines, he couldn't remember the last time he and George had five minutes alone with each other (save for the time he had been fucked over the desk in the Oval Office, _“because c’mon, Daddy, we worked so hard to get here--what's the point if we don't get to enjoy it once in a while?”_ ), he was sick of the Schuylers nagging him about when he was gonna propose to Eliza, but really,  he was fine. Everything was fine. Just great. 

He got the paid maternity leave bill through the House, Washington had relieved Puerto Rico’s debt burden with a stroke of his pen, Adrienne was in the middle of negotiating a nuclear weapons treaty with Iran, and after the trade conference there'd be work on a total overhaul of the VA.

The trade conference. _Fuck_ . He didn't see any good reason to go, his opinions on trade policies were polar opposite of the President’s, he didn't want to go to Nevis, he _especially_ didn't want to stay at the resort his mother had worked at.

“Princess, you can't run away from your past forever, and while your opinions on international trade are several hundred years behind the times, I appreciate having an outside opinion, so I'm not stuck in an echo chamber. And this will be a nice change of pace before we head into the VA overhaul.”

Fine.

Alex can deal. He'll do what he's always done; throwing himself into his work, because if he doesn't, if he stops, he will have to deal with the wreckage and turmoil inside his head, and he doesn't have time to deal with any of that. Not now. 

This will all be just fine.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did U kno: Alexander Hamilton's trade policies are very similar to Donald Trump's.


	10. 100 Days In A Gilded Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza was “the pretty middle daughter of Vice-President Schuyler”/”BFF GOALS AF”/”The hardest working beard in DC”/”Alexander Hamilton’s babysitter and personal ATM”/”a castrating bitch” depending on what blog one read on any given day. There had been some awful political cartoons during the election, so Eliza continued to operate behind a placid persona, and only dared bare her teeth in private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza goes on a spa date with Alex.

Eliza learned about the spa from Deborah Sampson, of all people. “It's small, great staff, the masseuses are incredible, and no one will tell me jack shit.”

So, once a month Eliza and Alex spend the day relaxing and chatting freely while uniformed attendants tend to them. It's as much for Alex’s benefit as it is for her--his dark circles have only gotten deeper, and Eliza has heard complaints from other White House staff about his short fuse. Alex was much more relaxed after their deep tussle massages. He leaned back in his pedicure chair, with his eyes closed. Elizabeth banned him from checking his phone or reading legislation on these outings.

“Did you really call the Speaker a ‘stupid little gym twink?’”

“I've been wanting to use that one for months. Couldn't use it during the campaign. Besides, it's true.”

“Alex!”

“Okay, so maybe ‘stupid’ was a bit harsh. How about ‘pathetic?’”

“You don't need to name-call the Speaker at all, really.” Cornwallis only remained Speaker because his resignation after the election would be, quote Alex, “a fucking dumpster fire.” He wasn't in a position to interfere with POTUS’ agenda. 

“You're too good for politics, Eliza.”

“Is that so.”

True, the platforms and agenda of FLOTUS’ office was less blatantly partisan, but there was plenty of dealmaking and maneuvering behind the scenes.  Eliza had to walk on a higher tightrope than Alex: while he faced public scrutiny as Chief of Staff, he had also created a brash, unapologetic brand for himself. He could publicly come out on Twitter after the election  (“hi. I like boys. I like girls. I like one girl in particular. Get the fuck over it.”), proudly display his pedicured toes on Instagram, and aggressively promote Washington’s agenda. He had less people to please. The press was used to this, and their commentary was mostly playful. 

Eliza was “the pretty middle daughter of Vice-President Schuyler”/”BFF GOALS AF”/”The hardest working beard in DC”/”Alexander Hamilton’s babysitter and personal ATM”/”a castrating bitch” depending on what blog one read on any given day. There had been some awful political cartoons during the election, so Eliza continued to operate behind a placid persona, and only dared bare her teeth in private.

“Maybe it's not that I'm too good for politics, maybe politics is too much of a um, ‘fucking dumpster fire’ for me.”

Alex laughed. “Have you considered not giving a fuck what other people think? I _ highly  _ recommend it.”

“Hey now, I finally shut Dad down the other night.”

“Oh really?”

“Told him if he had so little to do in the EEOB that he had time to bug me about getting married, I could see if FLOTUS’ office could assign him to flower arrangements. I think he'll be quiet about it until midterms.”

Eliza knew that this would only delay the inevitable; they had been held up as an example of Bad Millennials Refusing To Get Married during the election, and they wouldn't want a repeat during the reelection. Plus, while Alex wouldn't mind the arrangement too much, Eliza knew he really didn't want Phillip as a father-in-law.

There was time, and right now Eliza was focused on watching a woman paint Alex’s toes a brilliant shade of red.

“That'll look nice on the beach.”

“Ugh, don't remind me.”

“We're coming along.”

“I heard.”

There wasn't much on Martha and Eliza’s agenda; it would be a working vacation, and Alex would have someone to vent to other than Washington’s personal assistant. She was nice, Eliza had met her a few times, but she didn't think she knew much about Alex, or the true reasons behind his apprehension at the trade conference. 

“At least the weather will be nice.”

“ _ Thank God _ .”

A severe thunderstorm hit right in the middle of a Washington rally in Jacksonville, and Alex had beamed at the crowd while maintaining a death grip on Eliza’s hand. Eliza made it a habit to spend the night with Alex if there was severe weather predicted. 

“You'll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cornwallis=Paul Ryan


	11. Acela corridor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two hours on the train is enough time for Maria to organize her notes and try to make sense of the Washington’s dirty laundry. She laid everything out as soon as she got to the office. Denton’s expression was blank, even after she played the recording of Alexander Hamilton’s mating call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The roles of Marty Barron and Mike Rezendes will be played by Nick Denton and Maria Reynolds, respectively.

_ Gawker  _ didn't have a DC bureau. Maria preferred it this way. She could work from home most days, could set her own schedule, and only had to see the New York staff during major events. 

Or when Nick Denton calls and asks her to meet him in New York “as soon as possible.”

Two hours on the train is enough time for Maria to organize her notes and try to make sense of the Washington’s dirty laundry. She laid everything out as soon as she got to the office. Denton’s expression was blank, even after she played the recording of Alexander Hamilton’s mating call. 

“Dig deeper.”

“Excuse me?”

“For this to be worth our while, we need more information. This is a good start but we need more.”

“Hi? Hello? We've got proof that the rumors that have circulated around Washington and Hamilton for  _ years _ , are actually true, and that at least one news site knew about it and tried to cover it up. This is  _ huge _ . We know that Alex Hamilton had a rapid rise from bodyman to Presidential Chief of Staff, and now we know why. What more could you possibly want? A fucking sex tape?”

Nick chuckled. 

“That'd be great, but I'm thinking more about the other parties involved? What about the First Lady?”

“My sources say she’s involved with Eliza Schuyler.”

“Do they have anything like this?”, Nick held up Maria’s flash drive.”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, there you go. Figure it out, Maria.”

Maria rolled her eyes. 

“There's a trade conference in Nevis in two weeks. The whole gang will be there. It'd be a lot easier if I could get credentials and a company card. Well?”

“I'll pull some strings. Keep in touch.”

“Sure thing.”

Maria spent the return trip poring over every candid photo of Eliza Schuyler and the First Lady. Sure, they were close, and if you  _ knew _ , you could see it, but they had gotten “gal pals” down to a science. This wasn't going to be easy. 

Maria got media credentials and the company Visa delivered to her apartment the next day. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotlight is actually a very good movie and I am very sorry about ripping it off.


	12. everything is legal in new jersey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BREAKING: PARTY ANIMAL SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TRASH HOTEL, SKIP OUT ON SEX WORKERS IN RUNUP TO POTUS APPEARANCE AT TRADE CONFERENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags, there's a heaping pile of misogyny, and mistreatment of sex workers.
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by irl Secret Service scandals.

The advance went fine. Vehicles were shipped to the Air Force base on St. Croix, then brought over to Nevis , the team made preparations at the hotel, reinforcing windows with bulletproof glass, briefing hotel officials, going through drills, sealing off the Washington’s wing, looking ahead to any issues with the conference.

Normally, he'd wrap up the advance and go home and relax, but since Tallmadge had taken a meat cleaver to staff and added extra hiring requirements, they were short-staffed, and Ben would work protection for the duration of the trade  conference. He had texted Peggy _this is bullshit_ , and she had told him _potus likes having you around, idk idk_ , and Ben felt nauseous. What a sicko.

Advance prep gets done ahead of schedule. Ben and some of the other guys go out, hit a few bars. Relax. Get a chance to enjoy being on a tropical island for once. A couple girls approach their table, start chatting and flirting. They're cute, but Ben is suspicious. Locals love scamming Americans, no matter where you are and Ben doesn't have time for a stolen wallet, a case of the clap, or some bitch accusing him of knocking her up, or worse.

Plus, there's Peggy. They're chill, it's a casual thing, both of them are too busy for anything serious, but he really doesn't want her to be up his ass about this kind of shit. So he stays for one more round, and then takes a cab over to the hotel. Peggy is busy, can't talk, so he beats off to a few photos of her he's got saved on his phone and calls it a night.

 

*

 

Deborah sat in the newsroom, watching cable news, looking at the first family board Air Force One. She was still getting used to the whole “actually being respected by her colleagues in the industry” thing, and had honestly been bored. George keeping a tight handle on his personal bullshit was bad for business.

Deborah had to eat her words as soon as Kitty ran into the office.

“Are you fucking kidding me? How many agents were involved?”

“Eight or nine. Bartender says one guy left early, and everyone else stayed and got trashed. The girls say they were brought up to the hotel, but the guys cheaped out and wouldn't pay them. And then a fight broke out. Housekeeping says the rooms were annihilated. And yes, there's pictures.”

"Okay, send me a draft. I'll get Tallmadge on the phone.:

“You're just gonna call _Benjamin Tallmadge?_ ”

“If I'm gonna fact-check this mess, might as well go straight to the top.”

So there were advantages to her new-found legitimacy. 

 

*

 

**BREAKING: PARTY ANIMAL SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TRASH HOTEL, SKIP OUT ON SEX WORKERS IN RUNUP TO POTUS APPEARANCE AT TRADE CONFERENCE**

Members of the Secret Service team tasked with making security preparations in advance of the President’s visit for a trade conference were caught behaving like party animals, according to staff at The Four Seasons Nevis. Male Secret Service officers were partying at a local bar when they met several escorts, and brought them back to their hotel.

According to the two women _Nightstalker_ spoke to on condition of anonymity,they negotiated a fee with the men, but were rebuffed when they reached the hotel. “We told them  $800, but when we got to the hotel, they refused to pay. We tried to leave, but one of the guys blocked the door. I grabbed a champagne bottle and threw it, and that distracted them, and we ran out of there.”

Hotel staff informed _Nightstalker_ that several rooms were damaged severely, including broken furniture, cigarette burns, damaged plumbing, and carpet stains.

 _Nightstalker_ received the following statement from Benjamin Tallmadge, Director of the Secret Service:

_I have received reports regarding the behavior of several off-duty agents in Nevis. This behavior is unacceptable, and soliciting prostitutes is strictly prohibited by the Secret Service code of conduct. I have instructed Regional Director Crispus Attucks to interview all agents involved, and eight agents have already been suspended without pay, pending further review._

_This behavior is unacceptable, and I am working with the President and the Director of Homeland Security to institute lasting policy and cultural changes within the US Secret Service to prevent future incidents of this nature._

Tallmadge informed _Nightstalker_ that the President was never in any danger during this incident. The President and First Lady are due to arrive in Nevis this afternoon for a trade conference.

 

*

 

“ _Are you fucking kidding me?_ ”

They've got two more hours before they land when they get the news. Alex can't hear what Washington is saying, the pounding in his ears is too loud.

“These fuckers think the Caribbean is their fucking playground huh? They can just make a mess and someone else will clean it up?”

“Alexander, Tallmadge has assured me that everyone involved is suspended--”

“That doesn't really make me feel better, George.”

“Alex--”

“I mean, everyone knows that men are owed vacation sex right? That's all these women are good for right? Their feelings don't matter at all. Go ahead, have fun, party, knock up some woman on your vacation and then disappear. _Fuck_ ”

Alex started crying, heaving ugly sobs into George’s chest, his whole body shuddering with each breath.

George held him, stroked his hair, did his damndest to sooth his nerves.

“I'm so sorry, Princess.”

“What if--what if something were to happen to you?”

“That won't happen. I promise.”

Alex cried harder.

“Go start a shower. I can't have you looking like this when we land. I'll be there in a few minutes.”

Alex peeled himself away from George, and walked through the hallway, past the plane’s office, past the bedroom, into the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and stood under the hot water. He should've stayed in DC, started work on the VA overhaul, get a head start, leaned on the few representatives and Senators who had been on the receiving end of VA care. This trip was a waste.

The bathroom door opened and then Washington’s hands were in his hair, shampooing and massaging his scalp.

“I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, princess.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

*

 

Peggy had seen Hamilton yell, swear, drink ridiculous amounts of coffee, and destroy at least five stress balls. She had never seen him cry. She had wanted to give the President the revised itinerary for the trip, but froze as soon as she saw him embracing his Chief of Staff, one hand tangled in his hair, as he bawled his brains out. It was intimate and awkward, and Peggy had quietly backed away, and returned to her seat in the small room for staff. 

She stared at her phone. Maria had already landed in Nevis, judging by her Instagram account.

 

TO: [m. r]

_img0178_

is this what you wanted?

 

FROM: [m. r]

wtf wow

 

TO: [m. r]

yeah, he was pissed abt the secret service story. Started crying. This is going to be a long trip.

 

FROM: [Eggs Benedict]

Reassigned to FLOTUS detail. fml.

 

FROM: [m. r]

do you have anything like this for flotus/liza?

 

TO: [m. r]

I think I can pull some strings. Lol.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the real-life events that inspired this chapter:  
> https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/secret-service-scandal-colombian-woman-describes-night-of-carousing-with-agents/2012/05/04/gIQAcwyi1T_story.html


	13. What happens in Nevis...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, the real story isn't the wheeling and dealing of the summit, it's what happens afterward. Behind closed hotel room doors.”
> 
> Alex leaned in. “Off the record?”
> 
> “Sure.”
> 
> “Go fuck yourself, Maria.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE PLOT THICKENS. 
> 
> Note: more racism, sexism, and sex worker stigma courtesy of Benedict Arnold.

Crispus Attucks must be a diversity hire. He is young and baby-faced and will not stop hammering him with the same five questions.

“Why were you at the bar?”

“Because we finished advanced prep early, my shift was over, and we wanted to celebrate and unwind.”  _Like literally every job on the fucking planet, fuckass._

“How much did you drink?”

“Coupla beers and some umbrella drinks.”

“Did you speak to the women?”

“I said hi. That was it.”

“Were you aware they were prostitutes?”

“No.” _Of course_   _I knew they were scam artists, so I stayed away._ “I really wasn't into all of that, so I stayed out of it.”

“And you left the bar.”

“I left the bar.”

“What did you do after that?”

“Went back to the hotel, watched TV, went to bed.”

“Did you hear or see anything unusual?”

_Like getting woken up by the sound of breaking bottles and screaming women?_

“No sir, I'm a heavy sleeper.”

The Crispus kid sighed. “Well, statements from the agents and the bar corroborate what you've said, Mr. Arnold,” --he sounded disappointed-- _fuck this guy_ \--”We're bringing in new team members for protection duty, and we're gonna have you work with FLOTUS’ team for the rest of the trip. Try to stay out of trouble, Mr. Arnold.”

Ben barely managed to grit out a “yes sir” before being dismissed. _Fuck_. He did nothing wrong and now he's being punished because other agents were too stupid for their own good. Great.

  


*

  


Nevis looks different. Less houses, more mansions and hotels. The Four Seasons has gone through a major renovation, and Alex didn't recognize the lobby, and didn't have time to dwell on that because he was briefing the President on the way to the press conference.

George had gotten much better at public speaking since the campaign. He talked up the debt relief plan for Puerto Rico, his goals for the conference,  and so on. Alex stood at the back, scanning the room. Mostly mid-level reporters, someone from NPR, and--?

“Mr. President, Maria Reynolds, Gawker Media.”

Alex had seen her around a few times after the dinner with Jefferson and Madison, but he had kept his distance. What was _Gawker_ doing at a trade conference?

“Do you have any comment about the recent firing of eight Secret Service agents caught carousing with prostitutes prior to this trade summit?”

Alex silently fumed. He could tell that George was caught off guard--he did not like having to go off script--but he recovered quickly.

“As a matter of fact, I do. First, I have been very pleased with the level of service I have received from the men and women tasked with protecting me and my family, Second, I am very pleased by the swift response from Ben Tallmadge and Crispus Attucks in removing agents who violated protocol. We need to have more transparency and accountability in all levels of government, and they are leading by example.

Finally, Ms. Reynolds, I would not call the abuse of two women ‘carousing’. No more questions.”

“Thank you, Mr. President.”

Alex didn't understand why Maria was smiling.

  


*

  


The President walked right into it. The trade summit itself was boring pablum, but Maria kept her ear to the ground, pretended to listen to other journalists explain things at her. She checked her phone constantly.

She got her break on Day Two.

Her head was swimming. Everyone was good at using a lot of words to say a whole lot of nothing, Denton wouldn’t stop riding her ass, and she needed a goddamn drink.Fortunately, the hotel bar wasn't crowded; most people had chosen to imbibe out by the pool. There was only one other guy at the bar. Short, hair in a ponytail, expensive linen suit, green necktie. _Oh_.

Maria ordered a daiquiri and sat next to Alex Hamilton. He was drinking what looked like a Shirley Temple topped with whipped cream and a cherry. Okay. Whatever. 

“Funny seeing you here, Maria. I didn't think trade negotiations were within Gawker’s purview.”

Maria got that a lot, _“We didn't think you'd be able to make it”/”Wow, Gawker’s covering this?”/”Don't you work for Gawker?”_ , and a million other subtle and not-so-subtle ways of saying “Silly girl, you're not a _real_ journalist, run along now, the grown-ups are talking.” She wanted to hit back with _“Is that how your Daddy taught you to treat women?”_ , but knew better.

She settled for taking a sip of her drink, and giving Alex a quick once-over. She thought she saw a small hickey peeking over his shirt collar, but didn't linger.

“Well, the real story isn't the wheeling and dealing of the summit, it's what happens afterward. Behind closed hotel room doors.”

Alex leaned in. “Off the record?”

“Sure.”

“Go fuck yourself, Maria.”

“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Hamilton.”

  


*

  


“I'm going to meet Alex down at the beach.”

Eliza slipped off her dress and her underwear and rummaged in a drawer for her navy blue bikini.

Martha emerged from the bathroom, carrying a bottle of sunscreen.

“Before you put that on, let's get some sunscreen on you. We can't have you getting sunburned.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Martha’s hands were strong and delicate. She massaged the sunscreen into her skin, Eliza couldn't help but arch into the touch.

Martha pinched on of her nipples and Eliza couldn't hold back a groan.

“Later. Be a good girl and put on your bathing suit.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Martha kissed Eliza.

“Have fun.”

 

Ben slipped his phone back into his pocket in the nick of time.

  


*

 

FROM: [peggy-walgreens girl]

_img0179.jpg_

_img0180.jpg_

_img0181.jpg_

?

 

TO: [peggy-walgreens girl]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tysm.

 

Maria downloaded the pictures and started typing.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls imagine John Boyega as Crispus Attucks.


	14. Me here at last on the ground /you in midair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wished they could stay on the plane forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real. 
> 
> Sorrynotsorry.

Maria finished the draft by 2AM. She took the first flight out of Nevis, and got a call on her layover in Miami.

“It's going up at 9pm tonight”

“9pm on a Friday?”

“Element of surprise.”

“POTUS isn't scheduled to land at Andrews until 9:30.”

“Is that so. When are you back in DC?”

“2pm, if there aren't any delays. I've got the media open for the new exhibit at the Newseum tonight.”

“That should be fun. Send Deborah Sampson my regards.”

“Sure thing.”

 

*

 

_“Dirt: The History and Impact of the American Tabloid”_

_Media Reception_

_7-10 PM_

_Featuring remarks from Dr. Anne Helen Petersen, BuzzFeed News Reporter and author of “Scandals of Classic Hollywood”_

_Complimentary hors’ d'oeuvres_

_Cash Bar_

 

Molly wanted Deborah to take a break. “You're gonna work yourself to death, sweetie, I’m too young to be a widow and I look horrible in black.” Deb had resisted; she was busy with the TV show, and she couldn't afford to rest on her laurels. Not now.

Getting a seat on the Newseum’s board of directors was a compromise. Deborah maintained a semi-regular schedule at the _Nightstalker_ office so she could keep an open schedule for board meetings and Newseum events.

Deb surveyed the crowd milling around the lobby before she tapped on the mic and cleared her throat. “Is Marty Baron here? Marty? Great. I'm gonna pick on you for a minute. Marty and I have had quite a few disagreements over the years, but there's a great quote from him that I think is very relevant tonight. Marty credited his outsider status as one of the reasons why he was able to take on the Catholic Church and publish the story that shined a light on decades of sex abuse within the Church. Sometimes you need an outsider’s perspective to figure out the emperor has no clothes. For years, the American tabloid has filled this position.

“As a kid growing up in an insular community in rural Massachusetts, supermarket tabloids were my first exposure to the outside world. Tabloids have been criticized and maligned, but they've also broke stories other publications wouldn't touch. And sometimes they win Pulitzers.”

The crowd laughed. Good.

“Anyway, I'm going to turn the mic over to Dr. Petersen for a few brief words from her, and then we can all enjoy the exhibit and eat and drink to our heart's content. Thank you.”

 

Deb worked the room,  glass of seltzer in hand, posed for pictures next to the blown-up documents from the Jefferson Scandal. It was a good night.

“Deborah Sampson. Congratulations.”

Maria Reynolds looked sun-kissed and smug, with impeccably applied red lipstick.

“Maria. Nice seeing you. I'm glad Gawker could send a delegation.”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world.”

Maria grinned. Deborah's stomach lurched, for reasons she couldn't quite place. 

“Looks like you've been getting some sun. Nice lipstick.”

“Went to the trade summit in Nevis. Very enlightening. It's Kat Von D. Stays put through anything.”

“Looks great. If you'll excuse me, Ms. Reynolds.”

_What the hell was Maria Reynolds smiling about?_

Deb got her answer an hour later.

 

*

 

By the end of the trade summit, Alex thought he was going to crawl out of his skin from sheer frustration and nervous energy. At least the US inked a new trade deal (one that even Alex didn't completely hate), and the shitstorm from the Secret Service debacle had subsided a little. 

George had leaned in and murmured in Alex’s ear as they boarded Air Force One.

“What do you need, princess.”

“I need to forget everything. Get out of my head for a while.”

“That can easily be arranged.”

 

They had barely taken off when Alex was hustled into the bedroom and blindfolded.

There were hands, taking off his clothes, repositioning him on the bed, there was the sting of the belt against his skin, he thought he heard Martha and Eliza in the background. There were teeth digging into Alex’s shoulders, and slick fingers at his entrance, and a hand around his throat and--

Alex let go.

 

Alex had drifted off to a blissful fucked-out sleep. He barely registered George’s hand nudging his shoulder.

“You were so good, princess. But it's time to wake up. We'll be landing soon.”

“mmmf Daddy.”

“C’mon. Get up. Go clean yourself off.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

*

 

Peggy couldn't stop refreshing the Gawker front page. She was _supposed_ to be compiling a spreadsheet of every prominent veteran in federal and state politics, but couldn't tear her eyes off her phone.

8:50

_ten minutes_

8:55

_five minutes_

Peggy had erased anything incriminating from her phone and had practiced her “I am so shocked this is an outrage” face.

 

8:59

_One minute_

9:00

Peggy couldn't help gasping at the headline. The phone rang. She paged the President, trying to keep her voice as even as possible.

“Mr. President,  Vice-President Schuyler on line one. It's urgent.”

 

*

 

The bedroom was empty when Alex stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered and in a clean change of clothes.

Alex walked through to the President’s office and he froze.

Eliza was sobbing into Martha’s chest, and the President was on the phone, the color drained from his body.

“Phillip--please. We'll discuss this further when we've landed--Yes, I understand why you're upset--No, Eliza can't come to the phone--Very well, Phillip, I won't stop you--but I will not accept your resignation over the phone. Phillip, _we will discuss this when I'm back at the White House._ Fine.”

Washington slammed the receiver with a little too much force.

“What happened--”

“Maria Reynolds. She exposed everything.”

 

*

 

Deborah made a quick exit from the Newseum and sat in the car. She drove around until she finally parked in an alley and rolled up the windows and screamed at the top of her lungs. Her phone rang a tinny rendition of “Hail to the Chief”.

“How soon can you get to the White House?”

“Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

“We just landed. I'll let them know you're on your way.”

“Got it. I'm so sorry George.”

The voice on the other end of the line sighed.

 

*

 

Alex wished they could stay on the plane forever.

They landed at Andrews 20 minutes later. Alex lent Eliza his sunglasses, to shield her bloodshot eyes from the press.

He kept trying to tie a half-windsor but his hands kept shaking.

“Here.”

George stood behind Alex, wrapped his arm behind him and tied a perfect knot. Alex trier to remember the day he'd taught Alex, the afternoon in the suit shop, the way he smelled.

“George, I--I'm so sorry, I--”

“Later. I need you to brace yourself. The press have surrounded the tarmac.”

The flashbulbs blinfed Alex as they stepped off the plane and rush to the car. Alex wrapped his arm around Eliza and guided her to the car.

“Mr. President!”

“Mr. President!”

“Mr. President, any comment on your affair with your Chief of Staff?”

“Mr. Hamilton, do you have any comment?”

“Ms. Schuyler--how long have you been involved with the First Lady?”

“Mr. President, will you resign?”

They managed to get into the car in one piece, no thanks to the press that surrounded them on all sides.

They were in free fall.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne Helen Peterson is a real person. Here's her profile of Harvey Levin:  
> http://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/the-down-and-dirty-history-of-tmz#.uhBro7XLm


	15. The medium is the message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Maria Reynolds expose.

**“Daddy, I need you to suck my cock”: All the Sordid Details about the First Couple’s Secret Gay Lovers (NSFW)**

By: Maria Reynolds

FILED TO: NSFW, SEX, DADDY ISSUES, MY HEART BELONGS TO DADDY, JUST GALS BEING PALS

 

Yesterday during a press conference for the Pan-American Trade Summit, President George Washington commented “We need to have more transparency and accountability in all levels of government." in response to the suspension of eight Secret Service agents for violating protocol. Transparency and accountability were key talking points in Washington’s campaign stump speech, and are the driving force behind the President’s proposed VA overhaul.

While the President advocates transparency in his policies, the same cannot be said for his personal life. George Washington has been notoriously tight-lipped about his marriage to Martha Washington, and his relationship with his four adult stepchildren.

Additionally, rumors about George Washington’s personal life have circulated for years. _Gawker_ can now confirm that several of these rumors are true: President Washington is gay, and has carried on an illicit affair with his chief of staff, Alexander Hamilton.

Hamilton first caught Gawker’s attention where he was named “Blowhard of the Week” after a disastrous appearance at a press briefing four years ago. Hamilton had been recently hired as Washington’s personal assistant, and shortly after his press briefing tantrum he was promoted to Deputy Communications Director, and then Policy Director after Aaron Burr’s swift departure.

How did a man unknown to politics, whose previous job was a blogger at a mediocre content aggregator, rise so quickly to become President Washington’s right-hand man?

By indulging in his boss’s erotic whims.

Three and a half years ago, an anonymous source obtained an explicit recording of a sexual encounter between Washington and Hamilton. You can listen to it  here  . In it, Hamilton can be heard _vocally_ enjoying the receiving end of a blowjob with then-Senator Washington. Here's a direct quote  (warning: NSFL):

 

  
_  
"Yes, Daddy . . . Daddy, please, Daddy, oh my God — don't stop, please — please, don't stop, Daddy — I need you to suck my cock, I love your mouth, please, Daddy, let me come, I don't care if it's with your hands or your mouth or if I have to do it myself, please, Daddy, just let me come for you —"_

 

“Daddy”, of course is Mr. Washington, who is 23 years Hamilton’s senior. Washington's pet nickname for Alex is "Princess". 

Additionally, Gawker obtained several photos of Washingham (Whamilton? Hamwash? Leave your ship name in the comments) sharing intimate moments together. One shows Washington feeding Hamilton pasta off his fork at a swanky Italian restaurant, another features Washington and Hamilton in a tender embrace on Air Force One.

But what about Eliza Schuyler, the Veep’s daughter and Alexander Hamilton’s supposed girlfriend?

Funny you should ask. 

Schuyler worked for years as Martha Washington’s executive assistant at Mount Vernon Capital, and now as the First Lady's personal assistant. Martha and Eliza have been frequently spotted together at social events, and their closeness inspired Buzzfeed to call the pair “BFF Goals AF”.

Turns out they're more than friends  (or “gal pals”, even). We received photos from another anonymous source showing Martha give Eliza a _very_ thorough application of sunscreen.

So, to recap: The President is screwing Alexander Hamilton, the First Lady is screwing Eliza Schuyler, and Alexander Hamilton and Eliza Schuyler are pretending to screw each other as a cover. How have the Washingtons gotten away with it for so long?

It helps to have members of the media complicit in your schemes.

Let's get back to the recording of Washington and Hamilton’s mating calls. An anonymous source found the recording, and immediately tipped off Deborah Sampson, founder and EIC of _Nightstalker._ One of Sampson’s lackeys met with the tipster and offered 30 thousand dollars cash for the recording, in exchange for giving _Nightstalker_ exclusive rights to the footage. This is a tactic Deb Sampson is known for: multiple profiles of the foul-mouthed media mogul have made reference to a literal vault of damning documents, photos and recordings hidden away in the _Nightstalker_ offices.

Deborah Sampson isn't known for giving preferential treatment to politicians, after all, this is a woman who started a gossip site with the slogan “All the dirt on both sides of the aisle.”

Sampson was more than happy to share a recording of disgraced ex-Senator Thomas Jefferson receiving services from a gay escort on her site, but tried to bury evidence of Washington’s affair, evidence which would've ended his career as a Senator.

In recent years, Sampson has given George Washington very positive coverage: Washington made headlines when he announced his run for President on _Nightstalker Live!_ and Deb Sampson enjoyed prime seating as a guest at the Inaugural Ball. Perhaps what's even more disconcerting than the dumpster fire that is the President’s personal life is this unspoken quid pro quo between George Washington and one of the most outspoken members of the press.

While the future of this sordid quartet remains uncertain, rest assured that given the chance, Gawker will always report on closeted politicians fucking around with their sugarbaby staffers.

 

 _Send tips to_ _mariareynolds@gawker.com_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the irl inspiration. Links NSFW.  
> http://gawker.com/5943253/these-topless-photos-of-kate-middleton-put-us-at-two-for-three-on-royal-nudie-pic-scandals
> 
> http://gawker.com/5948770/even-for-a-minute-watching-hulk-hogan-have-sex-in-a-canopy-bed-is-not-safe-for-work-but-watch-it-anyway
> 
> http://gawker.com/shepard-smith-s-office-romance-a-26-year-old-fox-staff-1451438005
> 
> https://web.archive.org/web/20150717164758/http://gawker.com/conde-nasts-cfo-tried-to-pay-2-500-for-a-night-with-a-1718364339
> 
> "given the chance gawker will always report on married c-suite executives of major media companies fucking around on their wives", Max Read, former Gawker EIC defending the outing of David Geithner.


	16. You can't fight here--this is the war room!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The minutes ticked by. Everyone was staring at the door while trying to avoid looking like they were staring at the door. Waiting for the President. Waiting for Godot. Waiting to wake up from this fucked-up fever dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Executive bickering!
> 
> Note: more controlling behavior from Benedict Arnold at the end of the chapter.

So this is the situation room. All eyes are on Deborah as she's guided to an empty seat by a staffer.

There's Adrienne, typing one-handed on a laptop while speaking rapid-fire French on the phone, Tench Tighlman looking positively gobsmacked and nursing a glass of whiskey, Ben Tallmadge and Crispus Attucks silently conferring with each other, and Phillip Schuyler looking positively livid.

“What brings you here?” Schuyler didn't so much ask as he spat the question out.

“The President requested my presence.”

“Did he now.”

Phillip made a move to get out of his seat, but Adrienne stopped him.

“Phillip, sit down. Control your temper, _please_.”

Deborah busied herself with sending texts to the newsroom staff and checking Twitter.

The minutes ticked by. Everyone was staring at the door while trying to avoid looking like they were staring at the door. Waiting for the President. Waiting for Godot. Waiting to wake up from this fucked-up fever dream.

Finally, George, Martha, and Alex entered the room. Alex looked like a trainwreck, Martha looked ready to set DC on fire,  and George--

Deborah hadn't seen that expression on George's face since the ambush in Kuwait.

Before George could sit down, Phillip Schuyler launched out of his seat and into a tirade.

_“What the fuck, George?”_

“Phillip--”

_“I would've appreciated a heads up that my daughter was dating your wife”_

“Phillip--”

_“Do you even realize how humiliating this has been for me?”_

“Oh, for fucks sake, sit the fuck down, Phillip.”

“Nobody asked for your opinion, _Deborah_.”

“Your boss did. That's why I'm here. Your daughter just had nude creepshots plastered all over Gawker and you’ve got a lot of goddamn nerve to be whining about feeling humiliated.”

The Vice-President finally got the message and sat down.

“Where's Eliza? How is she doing?”

_Nice priorities, asshole._

“She was very upset. She went straight to bed.”

Martha’s voice contained equal parts concern and rage.

“What do we know so far, Ben?”

George sounded tired, defeated, the total opposite of the man Deb knew.

“We're questioning all staff that were present during the trip. Those photos were taken by someone with a high level of access. Very likely another member of the Service.”

Another woman piped up. “We reached out to Ms. Reynolds. She refused to name her sources.”

“Great. Fucking great. What a sleazy self-centered little--”

“Alex. As loathsome as Maria Reynolds is, that's the standard response for journalists. I got asked to name my sources for the Jefferson clusterfuck, and my answer was always no. Come on now, didn't Politifinder teach you that?”

Alex hung his head in his hands. “How the hell did this happen?”

“Same thing that brought down Jefferson and Madison. We underestimated people we thought were beneath us.”

Alex finally got it.

Phillip however, was getting his second wind.

“This is all such a mess, I can't--no..I can't do this. They're calling for your resignation too, George.”

“Phillip, if you really want to resign, I cannot stop you.”

“No official statement yet from the DNC,  but a lot of folks are pissed. This is going to make reelection campaigns a tough sell for House and Senate Democrats.” Deb didn't recognize the woman speaking. Maybe Communications or Deputy Chief of Staff.

“Does anyone in this room want me to resign? Be honest with me.”

Deborah scanned the room. There were lots of pained looks and sighs.

“It's not that, it's just--”

“There's going to be all sorts of inquiries and investigations.”

“And calls for your impeachment.”

_What a bunch of fucking cowards._

“Have none of you idiots taken a fucking civics lesson? If the President resigns, and the Vice-President resigns, _who is next in line for the Presidency?”_

Alex was the first to respond. “Speaker of the House.”

“And who is currently Speaker of the House?”

“Cornwallis.”

“Who is a complete fucking idiot, and lost the Presidency by a landslide. So yes, let's all just cave to a bunch of bullies because the DNC has no fucking spine, and hand the Presidency to some brainless P90X model.”

Deborah remembered her speech from earlier in the night: the outsider is frequently the voice of reason.

“You're getting hammered about your statement on increased transparency in government, and Alex’s qualifications.” Tench drained his whiskey glass.

“So? Let's release all the info about us. Lafayette handled my performance reviews when Washington was in the Senate. I'll get Columbia to release my transcripts. We have nothing to hide. Gawker published revenge porn. They have no right to bitch about accountability.”

“How bad is this going to play abroad?” Schuyler looked like he had finally recuperated and had decided to act like the Vice-President.

“It will be a challenge, but not impossible.” Adrienne looked icy, unreadable. She made international diplomacy sound like negotiating a deal for a new car.

“The press is going off the rails, you'll need to make a statement.”

“Tomorrow. I'd like to spend the night with my family. I can't control what happened, but I'd like to have a little control over how we address it. Ben, let me know as soon as your team finds anything. We’ll do a press briefing at 9AM tomorrow. Deborah, we'll send you every internal document and record. Try to get some sleep.”

“I'll sleep when I'm dead.”

“You know Deborah, you and Alexander have more in common than you think.”

“George, if you ever ask me to call you “daddy”, I swear to fuck my foot is going so far up your ass that you'll spit out my shoe.”

“Fair enough.”

 

*

 

Deborah made her way upstairs and back through the West Wing to the parking lot.She noticed two figures: some meathead dude and a petite blonde prepster girl. They were having a very animated conversation. Mesthead had boxed in the girl against the car. Deborah snuck around another car and pulled out her phone.

“What did you say to them?”

“I didn't say anything Ben. Said I had no clue where the pictures came from. I deleted everything before the story broke. Look, I had no idea Maria got an explicit recording.”

“Peggy, if they find out, I'll be finished.”

“Oh, and I'll get away scot-free? Resign if it worries you so much. We’ll be fine.”

Meathead relented. Thank God.

Deborah waited for them to drive off.

 

TO: [G.W.]

_1100.mov_

Picture quality is shitty but I think I found yr moles. Gnight.

 

*

 

“I want to spend tonight with my family.”

Alex still had a hard time with that word, “family”. It didn't matter how long they'd been together, how many holidays or family dinners he spent with George, he still wasn't quite used to the concept of being a member of Washington’s family.

So Alex assumed that spending the night with family meant a late-night strategy session for George and Martha. Alex pulled up his phone to get an Uber when George grabbed his wrist.

“Princess, what on earth do you think you're doing?”

“Should probably be getting home. It's late.”

“The press are swarming your apartment and I'm concerned for your safety. You're staying here tonight.”

“But, if word gets out--”

“At this point, I don't think accusations that you spend the night at the White House could damage either of us.”

“Shits that bad, huh.”

“Language, princess. Come on now. Let's get to bed."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question:
> 
> So, what's the sleazy Twitter hashtag for this scandal? Please leave suggestions in the comments.


	17. I tweeted my deliverance  (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George had confiscated his phone, had forbidden Alex to go on the Internet, and Alex felt stymied, helpless. Everyone was talking about him and he couldn't answer back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex Hamilton goes on a Twitter bender in response to #daddygate 
> 
> Content note: mentions of revenge porn, suicide, HIV/AIDS, the Tyler Clementi suicide.

Alex couldn't sleep. He'd followed George and Martha up toward the second floor, to their private residence, they'd gathered in the bedroom and drank hot cocoa, and Alex and Eliza had given each other backrubs as they watched a Netflix documentary.

Alex and George had taken the smaller bedroom, but he kept tossing and turning. He knew he should sleep; they were making their official statements tomorrow plus meetings and briefings and press conferences. George had confiscated his phone, had forbidden Alex to go on the Internet, and Alex felt stymied, helpless. Everyone was talking about him and he couldn't answer back.

He slid out of bed, grabbed his laptop bag, and shuffled to the private kitchen and pantry. The stars and planets seemed to align because there was Sprite and whipped cream and maraschino cherries in the fridge. He made a Shirley Temple topped with whipped cream, and booted up his laptop.

He went straight to Twitter. #daddygate was trending, Alex forced himself to avoid looking at his mentions, and began typing.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

My ears are burning. What'd I miss?

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Few things. 1. I've heard your daddy jokes 100s of times. They're not funny.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

  1. Pls stop tagging me in pictures of “daddy's princess” merch. I've seen it all before/have some of it in my junk drawer.



 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds since you've decided to take such a personal interest in my personal life, here's a few updates:

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds I have never seen my best friend Eliza cry so much as she's done tonight.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds You published revenge porn, called it “journalism” and then said I slept my way to the White House.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds There's this neat site called LinkedIn. You can look up people's work histories. Here's mine: [ http://linkedin.co ](http://linkedin.com)m…

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Here's some highlights:

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaRsynolds Graduated w/ honors from Bronx Science, one of the best public high schools in NYC.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds Army. Tour of duty in Afghanistan. Stationed in Kabul. Served when DADT was still in effect.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds Columbia University for undergrad&grad school. Master's in Public Policy. Summa Cum Laude.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds Here's my thesis on impact of gentrification on working poor in Brooklyn: docs.google.com…

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds worked all thru college&grad school. RA, retail, service industry, etc

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds interned at the Public Advocates office&AFL-CIO.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds U think I was unknown to politics bc I didn't have a trust fund or rich parents to subsidize free internships

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds I worked at Politifinder bc that's who hired me. It fucking sucked. But even they had more ethics than u or Gawker.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Meeting George changed my life. I wouldn't change a thing, not even now.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Every position (LOL MAKE A SEX JOKE) I've had w/ Washington, I've worked hard at.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Ask anyone I worked with. @GilbertDeLafayette handled all my performance reviews when George was in the Senate.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Also, u don't complete an ambitious 100days agenda w/POTUS without knowing what the fuck you're doing.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Also, during the first hundred days, there were lots of meetings and very little sex. Sorry to disappoint.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds u wanna know what's happening in that photo where George is holding me?

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds I grew up on St. Croix. My mom worked at the Four Seasons in Nevis.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds My dad was on vacation when he met my mom, got her pregnant, &then bounced

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds When I hears the news about USSS agents behaving like party animals, I was pissed.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds it brought up a lot of shitty stuff for me and I lost it. George calmed me down.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds so thx for turning a moment of trauma into click bait.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Now, onto some lgbt history…

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

George was born in 1967. 2 years before stonewall.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

He was in hs during the 80’s.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Homophobia&the belief that gay men were horrible sexual deviants were reasons why the govt/FDA were so slow to respond to the AIDS crisis

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Drs today aren't filling rxs for PrEP due to this same moralizing.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

When George ran for Congress, sodomy was still illegal in VA.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

It's still legal in VA to fire employees based on sexual orientation.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

LGBT homelessness is an issue we don't address nearly enough.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds how many kids are gonna face harassment/bullying/homelessness bc you shared those photos&recordings?

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds a Rutgers student committed suicide after his roommate recorded&shared his sexual encounters w/ other students

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds how is what you did any different than that?

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds Your motive was the same: humiliating queer people for fun&attention

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@MariaReynolds I really hope the traffic bonus is worth it.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

George has an A rating from the HRC.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

He didn't actively promote his LGBT record bc Virginia is a more conservative state.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

There are ppl in VA who would've never elected him to House&Senate if they knew he was gay.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

There are ppl who loved George's campaign platform who would never have voted for an openly gay man for POTUS

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

This is why I didn't come out as bi until after the campaign.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

And me&eliza still got shit for that.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

People should be able to come out on their own terms.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

I don't want to do the @fakedansavage “it gets better” thing bc savage is full of shit

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

But pls, you are not alone&you are not dirty/deviant/broken/in need of fixing&don’t let clickbait gossip reporters tell you otherwise.

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Trans Lifeline: translifeline.org (877) 565-8860

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

The Trevor Project: trevorproject.org 866-488-7386

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Metro DC GLBT Youth Center: [ http://www.thedccenter.org/resources_youth.html ](http://www.thedccenter.org/resources_youth.html)

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Ali Forney Center, serving homeless LGBT youth in NYC: aliforneycenter.org

 

*

 

George slept fitfully. His boy kept tossing and turning, until he finally got out of bed, mumbling about going to make some tea. George tried to drift back to sleep, but the never ending list of statements to make and hearings to prepare for kept him lying awake. Was this what it was like to be inside Alexander’s head?

A phone call interrupted his anxious meditations. Communications was panicking.

“Alex got on Twitter.”

“No. How bad is the damage?”

“Not...bad? It's hard to tell. He went off about gay history and linked to some gay rights organizations. Could be worse, but it's picking up steam.”

“I'll find him.”

George walked to the kitchen, and found Alex asleep on his keyboard.

“Sweetheart, it's time to get back to bed.”

Alex had been drinking something with whipped cream, traces of it were still on his mouth and chin.

“Come on.”

George lifted Alex and carried him back to bed. Sleep came easily as Alex nestled into George’s chest.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do u want to see a Hamilton/Dan savage twitter war y/y?


	18. I tweeted my deliverance  (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deborah Sampson @debsampson
> 
> @mariareynolds If you want to get into it about Ethics In Sleazebag Journalism, let's fucking go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deborah Sampson goes on a twitter tirade.
> 
> References Quid Pro Quo and this series:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/series/428653
> 
> TW for multiple rape/assault mentions

**Maria Reynolds @mariareynolds**

The @gawker standard for publishing stories:

1 is it true?

2 is it interesting?

#daddygate is both

 

**Maria Reynolds @mariareynolds**

Sorry kids, sometimes the truth isn't a feel-good story. #daddygate

 

**Maria Reynolds @mariareynolds**

And I'm very suspicious of anyone who claims the press shouldn't have an adversarial relationship with political leaders. #daddygate

 

*

 

Deborah glared at her computer. She had been scanning Twitter for tips when Maria Fucking Reynolds had finally decided to respond to the mess she had made

_Alright, if you want to fucking do this Maria, let's fucking go._

 

_*_

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds If you want to get into it about Ethics In Sleazebag Journalism, let's fucking go.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds here's the tl;dr from the Nightstalker Style Guide about outing:

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds 1. We don't out assistants/staffers

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds 2. We don't out officials with a b rating or higher from the HRC.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds We only out officials if they pass/support homophobic or transphobic legislation(act as tho they are above the laws they support)

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds OR if they're outed during the reporting of a crime.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

I didn't establish this policy bc I wanted to defend Washington

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

I did it because I'm a lesbian who has been in situations where being outed would have been extremely dangerous.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds when you were still toilet training, me and George were in Kuwait. When DADT was still in effect. You're welcome

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds Now, let's go ahead and put my law degree to work.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds federal law dictates that in a recorded conversation, at least one party needs to know/consent to recording.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

With the Jefferson tape, the escort had recorded that encounter.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

Me & my legal team determined that the recording of Jefferson assaulting an escort was in the public interest.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

Jefferson was an active threat to DC sex workers, and the public needed to know

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds Neither Washington nor Hamilton knew their encounter was being recorded.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds That, my dear, is called “tortious intrusion”. It's a federal offense.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds It's also fucked that you think two men having consensual sex, and a man raping an escort are the same thing. They're not.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

Also, at the time, Hamilton was still a PA. Remember how I don't out low-level staffers?

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds and remember how Washington has an A rating from the HRC?

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

That was not the only time Nightstalker attempted to obtain footage from someone intent on blackmailing closeted politicians

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

Now, let's address this “quid pro quo”.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

Let's take a look at my interview with the President, where he announced his candidacy: nghtstlker.me…

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

I asked abt his platform, his record in House&Senate, his reputation as a “DC insider”

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

I've ran stories abt Alex crashing his bike into a tree&Washington not being able to eat a corn dog.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

None of those stories are super positive or PR spin.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

So, sorry to disappoint, there's no Secret Homosexual Media Pact bw me and Washington.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

I enjoy close access because I've known George since Kuwait&im good at my job.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

But if you're so worried that I'm exchanging positive coverage for classified info…

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

If you want to know what a rival is doing, look at what they accuse you of doing. #realtalk

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

@mariareynolds Finally, you tweet abt “girl code” a lot. Posting nude photos of a woman, taken w/o her knowledge or premission, is a major violation of girl code.

 

*

 

Deb’s phone rang. Sybil and Lydia made it to New York, found out about a rooftop Gawker was throwing for the staff, and had gotten hired on by the company doing the catering. Good.

Deborah was paged by security to meet two guests in the lobby.

“Mary, glad you could make it, and this is…?”

“Call me Ada.”

Wollstonecraft's daughter was an accomplished sci-fi and comics author. She had written a fantastic novel about hackers and jinn and the Arab Spring before getting a series with Marvel and winning a Hugo.

“I hear you were the uh, hacking advisor for Mary’s book?”

“Basically, though she did use some poetic license.”

“Are you good at hacking?”

“Yes.”

“Can you hack into Gawker’s email?”

“Sure can.”

Deborah unlocked the Drawer of Cash and grabbed several envelopes.

“Mary, finder’s fee for you, thanks for helping out. Ada, this is an advance, there's more where it came from. I'm looking for Maria Reynold’s correspondence, and anything from the top brass that would be of interest. Don't get caught, I won't be able to help if you do.”

“Got it.”

 

“Try to get some sleep.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mary Shelly is G. Willow Wilson. The book referenced is Alif The Unseen, which I highly recommend.


	19. After the fall(out)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George could've resigned and crawled back to Mount Vernon with his rentboy. But no. He had to stay a thorn in Thomas’s side. Nothing to hide. Bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a mess.

She wakes up at 5 to every single alert on her phone going off. Peggy blindly reached for her phone, and found out why. Her stomach dropped.

 

**Deborah Sampson @debsampson**

BREAKING: WH staffer @PeggyShippin &USSS agent Benedict Arnold named in photo leak to @gawker smear story. nghtstlkr.me…

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Can confirm that @PeggyShippin and Benedict Arnold have been suspended without pay. [Insert redacted profanities here]

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

THE CALL CAME FROM INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE! yikes! ♡&support to POTUS&alex, a big WTF! to @PeggyShippin and Benedict Arnold.

 

Peggy finally tore herself away from her mentions and called her boss. Who fired her via Twitter. Who is fucking the President. 

“I would've appreciated a courtesy call before you announced my suspension on Twitter.”

“Well, I would've appreciated you not outing me and George to Maria fucking Reynolds, but here we are. Come in anytime before eight to clean out your desk and drop off your work phone and computer.”

Great. 

Ben called her on the way to the White House. 

“I don't know what happened.”

“You don't know? What do you mean you don't know?”

“Ben. I don't know. I can't talk right now. Get a lawyer.”

“That's all you've got to say to me?”

“Yes.”

Peggy survived the gauntlet of press and photographers camped out at the White House. A security guard met her at the entrance to the West Wing and escorted her to her desk. Alex was waiting.

“Phone. Laptop.  _ Now _ .”

“Here.” Peggy handed them over.

Alex gestured to a large cardboard box on her desk. 

“Everything in your desk should be in that box. The White House is conducting an internal review, and there's going to be Congressional hearings. I'd lawyer up and avoid skipping town.”

Peggy could tell that Alex was furious, but he controlled it well. He spoke softly and managed to avoid swearing. Maybe if he could manage that more frequently none of this would've happened. 

Well, shit couldn't get any worse. It was obvious that this “suspension” was permanent, so what did Peggy have to lose?

“I'm surprised they're letting you stay on as Chief of Staff. Sleeping with your boss is a pretty major conflict of interest.  _ Especially  _ when he's the President.”

Alex only sipped his thermos of coffee. 

“I wanted to see you out of here first. Go. Close the door on your way out.”

Alex only watched as Peggy struggled to shut the door and balance the heavy cardboard box. 

 

FROM: [Maria]

Sorry abt your walk of shame. How are you holding up?

 

TO: [Maria]

I'm more pissed that Alex announced it on Twitter before calling me. 

 

FROM: [Maria]

W o w.

Fuck him

 

TO:[Maria]

I think that's POTUS job 

 

FROM: [Maria]

/dead

/last minute, but I'm going to NY today for a gawker party. Wanna come with? Leaving in a couple hrs 

 

TO: [Maria]

Fuck yes

  
  


*

  
  


Saturday mornings, Aaron took Theo to play in the park, so Theodosia could sleep in. He'd come back with coffee, and then they'd have a late brunch and relax, do chores, maybe get a sitter for Theo and go out somewhere. 

Theodosia couldn't sleep in. She ate coffee and raisin toast and watched the President’s official statement. 

Interesting. 

The President refused to resign, however Alexander and Eliza agreed to resign from their positions, and they were prepared to face any inquiries or hearings. 

Theodosia was still struggling to come up with an adequate statement for the Family Research Institute. She knew that anything would get ripped to shreds by gay rights groups, who were already circling the wagons, and her true opinions on the matter wouldn't pass muster with the Executive Director. 

Theodosia remembered when she was pregnant with Theo, when a neighbor told her about seeing people dig through her trash, and then seeing  **THEODOSIA PREVOST UP THE STICK???????** blasted across the  _ Nightstalker  _ front page. 

She remembered the barrage of press when Jefferson and Madison’s dirty dealings came to light.

She remembered hiring a reputation management firm to clean up her search results so the FRI wouldn't fire her for violating their Employee Covenant. 

The President and First Lady lied to the American people about their illicit homosexual affairs. A disgusting tabloid broke the news with photos and recordings obtained via questionable means. Another disgusting tabloid is backing the First Family and wrapping themselves in the American flag because it makes them look reputable. 

And the recording. Aaron had promised her that everything had been destroyed. Why was Jefferson weaseling back in their lives right now?

Aaron and Theo returned. Theo babbled about all of the dogs at the park, Aaron handed her a Starbucks cup, and let Theo watch cartoons while they cooked breakfast. 

“Aaron, have you heard from Dolley?”

“I'm visiting her Tuesday. We’ll discuss everything then.”

“Aaron, I can't have you going to prison over this.”

“I won't. I didn't even know Jefferson had contacted Deborah Sampson.”

“Fix this, Aaron.”

“I will.”

  
  


*

 

For once, Jefferson was glad that Ted loved watching cable news. The “Breaking News” icon flashed midway through Megyn Kelly grilling some stuffed shirt about the Secret Service scandal, and Ted had gasped. Thomas only chuckled as they watched the Washingtons get swarmed by the press at Andrews.

Thomas got updates from the guards gossiping. 

“President says he's not resigning.”

“Why's that?”

“Said he had nothing to hide.”

_ Nothing to hide? _

George could've resigned and crawled back to Mount Vernon with his rentboy. But no. He had to stay a thorn in Thomas’s side.  _ Nothing to hide.  _ Bullshit.

He finally got computer time, and emailed Maria Reynolds. 

  
  


FROM: “CorrLinks Email Client: Inmate No. 04131743”   
  
TO: Maria Reynolds

RE: remember that night at the Four Seasons??? On the roof? ;)))))))))))))))

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	20. Close Your Eyes (and count to f**k)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don't even want to think about what Alex had to do to buy Thomas Jefferson’s silence.”
> 
> “I know, right?”
> 
> Maria flashed a very knowing look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Run The Jewels plays in the background]

**Step One: Discredit Gawker**

That one's pretty easy, honestly. _Nightstalker_ benefited from the high turnover, and they had poisoned the well so badly that Deb had a filing cabinet full of Gawker bullshit down in the Vault.

It was only a matter of opening the floodgates.

 

**“BLAH BLAH  BLAH” GAWKER EDITOR MOCKS RAPE VICTIM AFTER PUBLISHING VIDEO OF ASSAULT**

**“WOMEN DON'T MAKE GOOD BOSSES” EX-GAWKER EMPLOYEES SPEAK OUT AGAINST WORKPLACE SEXISM, “PINK GHETTO”**

**“DON'T DICK-MEASURE OVER SALARY” MALE GAWKER EXECS IGNORE GENDER-BASED PAY DISCREPANCY**

 

The salvo of hit pieces swirled around Media Twitter(r)(™) as Deborah drove up to New York for a round of interviews. Deborah didn't like most mainstream media, and they disliked her right back, but they all hated _Gawker_. Something about strange bedfellows.

She appeared on a CNN roundtable with Thomas Paine and some idiot from the _National Review_ , showed photos from Deb and George’s Army days on the Today show, and interviewed a lawyer who specialized in revenge porn cases for _Nightstalker Live!_

Sybil and Lydia were on their own little mission.

 

*

 

**Step 2: Gawker Party Fact-Finding Mission**

Lydia had worked many pretentious office parties in college, but this wason another level of smug and insufferable. Everyone was glued to their phones, checking Chartbeat, commenting on the hits on the story, making smug jokes about the First Family and Deborah Sampson.

Sybil and Lydia kept the mask of Bland Service Politeness on their faces and continued to make their rounds, passing out appetizers and drinks.

Fortunately, everyone was so preoccupied with their phones that no one noticed their own shenanigans.

Sybil noticed a few stuffed shirts muttering in a corner. Executives.

“It's been record traffic”

“-does no good when advertisers drop like flies”

“Schuyler is threatening to file suit”

“The revenge porn angle is going to be a problem”

“Gentlemen, care for more champagne?”

 

Maria strolled in fashionably late. Everyone flocked to congratulate her, sing her praises, fill her in on the numbers. She was with a pretty blonde, whom Maria called her “secret weapon”.

_Wait a minute._

They strolled over to the bar. Maria ordered a Cosmo, the blondie who Lydia suspected was the fired White House staffer got a Sex on the Beach, and neither of them tipped. Lovely.

The huddle was close enough to the bar that Lydia could overhear the self-congratulatory circle jerk.

“Oh, this is just the beginning. There's more to the story.”

“You're kidding, Maria.”

“Go on.”

“I've got a source saying that Washington had Hamilton steal the documents that implicated Jefferson and Madison in the financial scandal.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. I guess Alex tried to make a deal with them, exchange silence for silence. But he double-crossed them and gave everything over to Deborah Sampson.”

“I don't even want to _think_ about what Alex had to do to buy Thomas Jefferson’s silence.”

“I know, right?”

Maria flashed a very knowing look.

This is bad. Abort. Abortabortabort. Shit fuck.

Lydia wanted to leap over the bar and punch Maria, but there were two more hours left to this shitty party and a line had formed at the bar.

 

Sybil and Lydia watched Maria leave the party with her arm wrapped tightly around the blonde’s waist at the end of the night.

They couldn't tell if the gesture was to help steady each other after a night of drinking, or something else.

“Let's get the fuck outta here.”

“You know where Deb’s staying?”

 

*

 

**Step 3: Silence Maria Reynolds**

 

From: [A]

Got everything u wanted&more in digital and hard copy when u get back to DC.

 

To: [A]

GOD FUCKING BLESS U.

 

Deb had told Sybil and Lydia not to bother her at her hotel unless it was an emergency.

This was an emergency.

Deb didn't know which pissed her off more: Maria threatening to spill about Alex stealing the drive or the implication that Alex traded sex for Jefferson’s silence. Or, that Maria was taking Jefferson’s fake Penthouse letter at face value.

Deb needed Maria to shut the hell up. The emails would help, if Ada had found anything juicy,  but Deb needed more.

Deb got what she was looking for the next day when Kitty forwarded a tip.

 

To: [fuckass gawker bitch]

Are you free next week Tues. evening at 7?

Come to dinner at my place. I have a few things worthy of your attention.

And Peggy’s.

 

From: [fuckass gawker bitch]

What things?

 

To: [fuckass gawker bitch]

Things that you will see if you accept my dinner invitation.

 

From: [fuckass gawker bitch]

Fine. Don't pull any stunts.

 

To: [fuckass gawker bitch]

Wouldn't dream of it. I'll forward the address day of. Pleasure doing business with you, Maria.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Gawker headlines are real things that actually happened.


	21. What they trade away.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Find something he cares about more than ruining your life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the section of the story known as "All Your Faves Are Horrible/I'm Shamelessly ripping off House of Cards/Everyone Is Frank Underwood And I Regret Nothing."
> 
> With that being said, lots of ethically questionable deals going on. Here be dragons. 
> 
> Additional warnings for mentions of rape, and the threat of prison rape used as leverage/bargaining tool in this chapter specifically.

Out of everyone involved in the scandal, Dolley Madison got the best deal. She was on a strict probation, and would serve her sentence in a minimum security facility once James finished his. In the meantime, she sold the  estate and started an antiques and furniture restoration business.

Aaron took the day off work and drove up to the little shop.

Dolley was waiting outside for him. She was dressed casually, no makeup, ankle monitoring device just peeking out from under her jeans. Aaron tried not to stare.

“Good morning, Dolley.”

“I open in half an hour. What do you want.”

Aaron sighed.

“We should take this conversation inside.”

 

*

 

“The worst things would be if you misappropriated funds or lied under oath. The rest you'll get shit for, but those are the things that'll truly fuck you up.”

“As long as Jefferson learns the value of silence.”

“Isn't that what this trip’s for?”

Tench was one of the few who knew that Washington was headed to Arizona, and knew the real reason beyond “surprise visit to an LGBT veterans group.”

George pondered Tench’s statement. They still had a few hours til they landed.

“I'll release anything they want about my finances. That shouldn't be an issue. Deb’s already got Alex’s transcripts and Lafayette’s performance reviews.”

“George, don't deflect. Have you ever lied about your relationship under oath?”

“Not under oath.”

“Go on, then.”

“When Franklin died, I was vetted for Vice President. Lawyer asked if I'd ever had “a homosexual encounter”. I told them what they needed to hear. Jefferson found out. Thom Pinckney was feeding him information."

“Representative Pinckney? From Charleston? Sits on the House Oversight Committee?”

“That's the one.”

“Any idea who the lawyer was?”

“James Duane?”

Tech chuckled.

“Care to let me in on the joke, Tench?”

“Okay, you know the spiel I make about fucking a pig’s head? That's Duane. We were frat brothers. He could get carried away sometimes. He's not gonna give you any trouble. I'll talk to him.”

“What about Pinckney?”

“Find something he cares about more than ruining your life.”

 

*

 

**PRESIDENT SURPRISES LGBT TROOPS, VETS, AND THEIR FAMILIES DURING AZ VISIT**

George marveled at how quickly _Nightstalker_ could publish a story. It was already blowing up. Good.

George rode in an unmarked, unremarkable car. Security ushered him into the correctional facility, through a side entrance. George was dressed down, with minimal security detail. Any guard or inmate would think he was a contractor or vendor. Good.

He was led through more hallways and into a small holding room.

“Mr. Jefferson. It's been a while.”

“Good evening, _Mister President_. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jefferson looked about the same as he ever did, except his suits were replaced with a hideous orange jumpsuit, and he had cut his hair. He still stunk of Drakkar Noir.

“Your big mouth has been causing me all kinds of trouble. It's getting rather tiring.”

Jefferson grinned. He was far too happy for a man in prison, currently handcuffed to a table. That needed to stop. Now.

“Oh, I'm sure there are other things you'd like my big mouth to do.”

“I'm afraid you're not my type, Thomas. And besides, I didn't come here to flirt with you. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Well, why did you come all the way out here? You went through an awful lot of trouble to visit little ‘ol me.”

“Remember that little chat we had in your office after you harassed my Policy Director? I said I would ruin you if you continued to cause me trouble.”

“Darlin, I'm stuck in this desert hellhole for the next thirty years. I think you've already achieved that goal.”

Washington remained stoic. Jefferson thought he was so clever. He knew nothing.

“Thomas, do you know why you were sent to Tucson?”

“Enlighten me.”

“The Federal Bureau of Prisons discovered it was cheaper to build a facility specially designed to house perpetrators of sex crimes than it was to constantly patch up inmates who got beaten up-or worse. That's why you're here.”

“I'm not a sex criminal. Sally did all her bullshit through civil court.”

“True, but your reputation preceded you. A wealthy bisexual politician who has a hobby of raping employees and sex workers makes you an easy target. That's why you're here. That's why you have a security detail. That's why you have no cellmate and private time to work out. You've got quite a few _special rights_ on the inside and you're not being very appreciative. And all of that is very costly. The American taxpayer wouldn't like to know how much it costs to keep you in such comfort.”

“What's your fucking point.”

“Watch your language. The point is, I’m the President, and you're the scum of the Earth. If you insist on continuing your correspondence with Ms. Reynolds, I will suggest we consider making some cuts to the Federal Bureau of Prisons next budget. Or maybe I'll send Deborah Sampson the annual price tag for your stay here and all the special perks you receive. Or maybe, one day, out of the blue, you'll get transferred somewhere else. Somewhere not as _nice_. Where you'll be in much closer contact to inmates that would love to put you on the receiving end of the misery you inflicted onto others. Do I make myself clear?”

Thomas stared at the table.

“Look me in the eyes, Thomas. Are we clear? Are you going to stop talking to Maria Reynolds?”

Thomas finally made eye contact.

“We're clear. Yes”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes. I will stop talking to Maria Reynolds. I'll stop talking to the press. I won't give you any more trouble.”

“You'd better not.”

George rose up to leave.

“What does your wife think of this? What does your pr-Alex think of this?”

“Mr. Jefferson, where do you think I got the idea in the first place?”

 

*

 

“I don't see how your bad behavior is my problem, Aaron.”

“Your husband knew about the recordings.”

“So?”

“There's going to be an investigation. We should be on the same page as your husband.”

“Who's “we”?”

James must've learned everything he knew from Dolley.

“Dolley. I have a daughter. She's almost five. She is my entire world. Theodosia gave up so much to have her. I can't have her visiting me in prison. If we say that it was all Jefferson, we all stay out of this mess and he's already in prison. He doesn't have children. No one will miss him.”

Dolley softened. Her concern for her own children compelled her to make such a favorable deal during her own troubles.

“Fine. I'll visit James next weekend and discuss everything with him. Go home. Spend time with your daughter.”

“I will.”

 

*

 

“Find something he cares about more than ruining your life.”

Thomas was easy to deal with. Pinckney on the other hand…

He'd left the Adams administration shortly after Alexander discovered his dealings with Jefferson and Madison. He'd returned to South Carolina, worked in the family business, had run for the House as a moderate Republican devoted to job growth. He was out, was considered one of the rising stars in a coalition of gay Republicans looking to shift the party’s stance on gay rights.

George had visited Charleston as a young man a few times. Browsing the Wikipedia page on the city jogged his memory. One paragraph in particular caught his eye.

_“Today, Joint Base Charleston, supporting 53 military commands and federal agencies, provides service to over 79,000 airmen, sailors, soldiers, marines, guardsmen, Department of Defense civilians, dependents, and retirees.”_

Lots of jobs, lots of voter support tied up in the base. Washington called Secretary Greene.

“Hello Nat. Yes, I'll be back in DC in a few hours. Mhmm. Look Nat, schedule a new round of BRAC hearings. Put Joint Base Charleston on the top of your list. I'll explain later tonight. Thanks. See you soon.”

 

*

 

Maria didn't know whether to dress up for dinner, or dress super casual. She settled for in-between: dark jeans, t-shirt, red cardigan and matching heels. Tinted lip balm. She took an Uber to the large townhouse located in DuPont Circle, and rang the doorbell.

Deborah answered. She was wearing jeans, loafers, a “Thomas Jefferson is the Zodiac Killer” T-shirt and a purple blazer. And a smile.

“Come on in Maria, dinner's almost ready.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of that stuff about the Tucson correctional facility is true.
> 
> Here's an enlightening/extremely graphic look on prison culture's treatment of sex offenders, and what the Federal Bureau of Prisons is trying to do about it:  
> http://www.vice.com/read/how-jared-fogle-will-get-treated-in-prison-820


	22. Menu/Venue/Sniping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They played you, Maria.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tina Turner voice]
> 
> TWO WOMEN ENTER. 
> 
> ONLY ONE LEAVES.
> 
> Featuring:  
> -blackmailing  
> -sniping  
> -hypocrisy  
> -whining about gentrification in your million dollar house  
> -An Ina Garten menu. 
> 
> Everyone is still horrible sorrynotsorry

Owning a tabloid network must be nice. It looked like a lucrative racket, judging by Deb Sampson’s townhouse. Lots of wood and etched glass and framed copies of _C_ _onfidential_ and a Warhol print of Mary Todd at Lincoln’s funeral.

“That's a lovely print.”

“Oh, that's the real thing, sweetheart.”

 _Sweetheart._ Maria bristled. She was used to condescending remarks from older men. They stung like hell coming from a woman.

Maria followed Deborah into the large, sleek kitchen.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Let me see your phone. You won't be needing that tonight. Digital recorder too, if you have one.”

“What exactly are you trying to pull?”

“I want a private dinner."

“You first.”

Deborah pulled her phone out of her pocket, turned it off, and placed it on the countertop. Maria reluctantly did the same.

“Have a seat”, Deborah gestured to a small table in the kitchen, “It's just the two of us tonight. My wife is doing legal observing at a McDonald's strike.”

Maria sat down. Deborah brought several dishes to the table.

“Chicken with goat cheese and basil, roasted carrots, tagliatelle with truffle butter, and there'll be panna cotta for dessert. And red wine, if you'd like.”

“Wine sounds lovely.”

Deborah uncorked the bottle and poured a glass for Maria, but Deb didn't pour any for herself, opening a bottle of San Pellegrino instead.

“You're not having any--?”

“I don't drink.”

“Oh.”

 

*

It's a shame, really. In another universe, where Maria Reynolds was good at her job and did actual reporting instead of spreading gossip, maybe they could be friends, colleagues even. Too bad.

She was eager, asking “So, you said you had information?” before she even cut her chicken.

“We'll discuss that during dessert and coffee. Let's enjoy dinner.”

Politics, news, and work were off-limits of course, so Deborah chatted about the weather, baseball (Maria was a Yankees fan, which gave Deb another reason to dislike her), the erosion of DC’s best-known gayborhood.

“Molly and I bought this house in the late Nineties. We got an excellent deal, and made a lot of renovations, but the value has skyrocketed. Rents are out of control. Too many straight people with yuppie jobs and undercuts moving in thinking that living in this neighborhood makes them queer.”

“Sounds like you've been here for quite a while.”

“Moved here after law school. Molly got a job in the Department of Labor, I got my big break doing legal reporting at WUSA9 during the Weeks case. I guess Lifetime got Ryan Murphy to do a TV show about it. Should be interesting.”

“Hm.”

No opinions, no sense of history. Whatever.

“Me and Molly didn't have too hard of a time. She got hit on a lot, lots of boy's club bullshit. I didn't get that too much, men were too scared of me to even try that crap. Lots of glass closets for the men though. It was a difficult time. Still lots of fear and stigma from the AIDS crisis, you had the “family values” coalition making everyone miserable, hell everyone _knew_ about us, and we didn't even come out until I inked the deal with AOL and Telepictures and launched _Nightstalker_.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Knowing one’s history is important, Maria.”

“What exactly are you implying, Deborah?”

“How's about I make us some coffee and we have dessert?”

 

*

Dessert was served in the living room. Maria sat down and spooned at the (delicious) panna cotta with strawberries and sipped the (very strong) coffee. Deborah returned with two large envelopes, which she placed in front of Maria.

“Open the top one first.”

Maria opened the envelope and scanned the pages.

“How did you--”

“Friends in low places who are good at hacking email accounts. Figured you were up to something when I saw that Jefferson PR piece you wrote. Looks like you've got quite the friendly exchange going on here.”

Deborah had everything. Maria pulled up one of the most recent emails.

“Like what Alex did for Jefferson to ensure his silence about the recordings?”

Deborah only sipped her coffee and grinned.

 

*

“Did it ever occur to you that Jefferson wrote that email with one hand down his pants?”

“He was right about Alex and George. I was there the night of Jefferson and Madison’s meeting. Alex was very disoriented and disheveled. He’s quite a uh, prolific guy. John Laurens, Phillis Wheatley, William Duer _and_ Kitty Livingston? Stranger things have happened.”

Maria was really trying Deborah’s patience.

“Maria,  Thomas Jefferson is a convicted fraudster, a rapist, a master manipulator, and now, a writer of shitty Penthouse letters. You also have no proof of anything Jefferson is saying. Gawker is already getting reamed for how they handled outing the First Family, and you're on _very_ thin ice. Don't try me.”

“That's not what I've heard.”

“Open the next envelope.”

 

*

 

Maria read and reread the chain of emails from Denton and the Executive Partners.

_“Maria Reynolds is a major liability…”_

_“while traffic records have been broken, brands don't want to be associated with Gawker…”_

_“Taking the post down is a possibility...or removing the offending photos and audio…”_

_“Schuyler has named Maria and Gawker in her suit...any way we can make Maria compensate for the cost of her counsel?”_

“Why didn't anyone tell me about this?”

“Because you work for Gawker. You're bosses aren't good at using their words."

“I can't believe this, _Denton_ was the one who wanted me to dig stuff up about FLOTUS, why are they doing this?”

“They played you, Maria.”

“Shit. What should I do?”

 

*

 

This is exactly where Deborah wanted Maria; hanging onto every word, desperate for advice.

“Well, if I were you, I'd go to your boss and get the best severance deal you can negotiate. Keep those emails as an insurance policy. Then I'd do something else. Write a book, maybe? Anything that doesn't involve playing email tag with Thomas Jefferson.”

“Yeah, I should do that. Yeah.”

Deborah pulled out another envelope. Just in case Maria needed some additional motivation.

“Otherwise, things could get difficult for you and Peggy. Seems like you two have gotten _very_ friendly lately. My photographers were quite amused by your behavior. Now, it seems like Peggy was involved with Mr. Arnold, and had a falling-out. He's a real charmer. Sent us a few gifts.”

Maria’s eyes widened.

“What are you--”

“Nothing, if you leave Gawker and find something better to do with your life.”

“And if I don't, you'll publish these photos? Because it's no big deal when it's a woman you don't like?”

“No. _I_ won't publish them. But Johnny Burgoyne over at Breitbart would have a field day with these. Like I said, only _if_ you don't move on to greener pastures. These are just a little guarantee thst I don't get double-crossed.”

“I can't believe you'd do this. You're so full of shit.”

“Don't dish out what you can't take, Maria.”

Deb would always choose the man she took a bullet for over a pair of gossip hacks. She'd do whatever it’d take to keep this shit from getting worse. Even if it meant breaking a few eggs or suspending her own personal code of ethics.

Maria stared at her dessert.

“I'll resign tomorrow.”

“And I'll put these through the shredder as soon as it's made public. Capiche?”

“Yeah.”

"It's getting late. I'll get an Uber for you and fix up a plate for Peggy. Enjoy your evening."

 

*

**Maria Reynolds @mariareynolds**

On my decision to resign from @Gawker: medium.com…

FROM: [Unknown number]

_Shredderiffic.jpg_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mary Todd/Lincoln is a reference to Warhol's prints of Jackie Kennedy at her husband's funeral. 
> 
> In the flipped QPQ history Kennedy said "A house divided against itself cannot stand", and Lincoln was shot in Dealey Plaza.


	23. Nous ne soumettons pas à la terreur . Nous faisons la terreur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrienne had never been a proponent of realpolitik or Kissinger, but she couldn't deny that his methods weren't effective. Brutal, but effective. After all, if nations had issues with the US being run by a gay man, they need only to be reminded that a gay man possessed the launch codes, and controlled the distribution of financial support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The roles of Frank and Claire Underwood will be played by Gilbert du Motier, the Marquis de Lafayette, and Adrienne de Lafayette.
> 
> I couldn't hold to the flipped timeline because a lot of countries simply weren't around at the time, so there's references to both 18th c. leaders and contemporary ones.

Adrienne was called many things when Washington nominated her for Secretary of State: too young, too inexperienced, too naive, too French. All of the petty insults stopped once she successfully negotiated the release of two American journalists from North Korea.

That had been tricky.

Handling the fallout from the _Gawker_ expose would be just a little bit trickier.

Adrienne had never been a proponent of realpolitik or Kissinger, but she couldn't deny that his methods weren't effective. Brutal, but effective. After all, if nations had issues with the US being run by a gay man, they need only to be reminded that a gay man possessed the launch codes, and controlled the distribution of financial support.

The EU got in line fairly quickly. Some of the far-right fringe groups might be a problem, but most were in disarray after Marine Le Pen had died of a severe case of “food poisoning”.

The Holy See didn't do much other than issue a bland statement about charity and mercy, because anything else would've earned a travel advisory for the Vatican and visa cancellations for every priest, bishop, cardinal, and Catholic charity aidworker.

The Global South huffed and puffed until Adrienne took a page from Kissinger’s book and “made their economies scream”. As it turns out, one cannot call the leader of the United States a “degenerate homosexual tyrant” _and_ expect financial support from the IMF, and timely deliveries of food and medical supplies. One or the other. Most countries chose the latter.

MENA was a mixed bag. Netanyahu needed reminding that Israel’s comparably progressive LGBT policy was a big reason why Israel had support from the American left, and did he _really_ want the State Department to start filling every open policy position with hardline BDS advocates? Iran threatened to walk away from talks, again, so Adrienne point-blank asked if they really hated the embargo more than the President.

(Turns out, they didn't)

The big problem was the oil countries. The Saudis, the Russians, and that crackpot in Venezuela were closing ranks. That would not do. The Saudis were technically allies, going up against Catherine The Great and the Russians was out of the question, but…

...Venezuela was a small country. If the US gained control, there'd be access to oil. It'd send a warning to the Saudis and the Russians.

Adrienne drafted the mission herself and went to Langley.

  


*

 

“You are the only ones who know about this mission. If you fail, the US cannot help you. Try not to fail. Your flight leaves in an hour. Good day gentlemen.”

“Good day, Madame Secretary.”.

  


*

  


**The Associated Press @AP**

BREAKING: President of Venezuela found dead. Documents show possible ties to drug gangs. ap.nws…

International news wasn't _Nightstalker’s_ wheelhouse, but this was, interesting…

The very anti-US President of Venezuela, who had said some _very_ nasty things about George, was found dead, surrounded by evidence of foul play/dirty dealings with a drug cartel. Andres Bello, a pro-US guy, had been appointed as President.

Interesting.

Debt knew if she tried digging, she'd find nothing. This wouldn't be the first time the US had overthrown leaders in other countries, but it'd be the first time it was done out of love. Better than bananas at least.

  


*

  


Lafayette had called, frequently, after that horrible woman published that story. He called again after Alexander had announced his resignation as Chief of Staff.

“Do you want me to come on board?”

“Gilbert, I thought you wanted a break.”

“The French Embassy irritates me. You need a strong Chief of Staff.”

“If you insist, Gilbert.”

“I do.”

Of course, Adrienne insisted as well.

  


*

  


Molly had Deborah pinned. She _could_ try and fight it, but Deborah was too damn tired to be a bratty asshole. She needed a damn break.

“Hon? How many people would you kill for me?”

Molly lit up. Godfuckingdammit, she was so beautiful.

“I’d blow up a planet for you, sweetie.”

Alright. Good. This is okay.

  


*

 

Gilbert made it home first. One of these days Adrienne would keep a reasonable schedule and would be home before nightfall. Gilbert was leaning out the open window, smoking.

“Hey.”

“Hello there. Georges is fast asleep.”

“How was work?”

“Half the West Wing took a severance deal. How’s the war abroad?”

“Saudi Arabia and Russia finally came to their senses.” Venezuela sent the correct message. China had eased their chill, once they realized that their main oil suppliers all reaffirmed their alliance with the US.

“That's good,” Lafayette took another drag. Adrienne wanted him to quit,  he'd cut down significantly since Georges was born, but she couldn't blame him. “I wish things in the West Wing weren't such a shitpile. I don't think my usual charm offensive will be received well.”

“Have you considered fear? Fear is an _excellent_ motivator.”

“Touche, darling.”

Adrienne had married a quick learner.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a real Kissinger quote, from his involvement in removing democratically elected officials in Chile. 
> 
> The banana thing is a United Fruit reference. 
> 
> The CIA was involved in deposing democratically elected officials in Iran and the Democratic Republic of Congo out of concern that they'd block American economic interests.


	24. (Despite all my rage) I am still just a rat in a cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex couldn't tear himself away from CNN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Alexander Hamilton and Thom Pinckney are very upset, for very different reasons.

Alex couldn't tear himself away from CNN. 

George had tried to impose a “no cable news” rule, but it hadn't worked. Tench and the Communications Director wanted a “no social media” rule, and that went nowhere. 

“No live-tweeting cable news” was the compromise. 

CNN kept showing images from Venezuela, and kept repeating Adrienne’s official statement on infinite loop. 

Alex felt sick to his stomach. 

The “official” story was bullshit. Nobody seemed to care that the official story didn't make sense. Then again, turmoil in Venezuela temporarily turned everyone's attention away from #daddygate. 

Was that part of the plan, too? Alex would have to add it to the barrage of questions to ask George when he got out of his meetings. He hated hanging around the residence. He had gone, twice, to his apartment, and both times he was swarmed by a mob of press. The White House was more secure, but Alex was going stir-crazy.

No one even bothered to give him a heads-up, like, “Hey, we're gonna assassinate some fuckoff in South America for you, hope you don't mind.” Alex was the last to know everything. 

George finally walked in the bedroom,  looking beat. 

“So. Venezuela. How  _ convenient _ . I'm flattered, but I'm really not worth the trouble.” Alexander spat out the words, hoping to get a rise out of Washington. He didn't say anything. 

“I didn't take you for the ‘approves targeted assassinations’ type. Guess I was wrong.”

“Adrienne made it clear that a lot more people would suffer if we didn't handle the situation. I don't relish in killing people, son.”

_ Son _ .

Anger pooled in Alex’s belly. 

“ _ Son? _ What the fuck makes you think you can call me that?”

“Well, you are the one who enjoys calling me Daddy.”

Alex exploded with angry laughter.

“Really fucking funny, old man”, Alex tugged on George’s tie. “Am I really worth killing over?”

George's pupils were blown wide, and he barely choked out a “yes”. 

“Bed. Now.” 

George immediately scrambled to follow Alex’s instructions. He laid down on the bed.

“Put your tie in your mouth, old man.”

  
  


*

  
  


“No. Lead with National Security, then go into economic impact.”

“And them technology and innovation?”

“Yes.”

This is not how Thom wanted to spend the week before the hearings about the First Family's extracurricular relationships with their staffers. But DOD was playing fast and loose with the BRAC hearing date, and Thom didn’t want to be caught off guard. Especially since every pundit, network, blog, and bit of gossip all stated that the Charleston base was the one most likely to be axed. If Charleston was closed, Thom could kiss any shot at reelection goodbye. 

Fortunately, Henry Laurens had made some calls and arranged for a private meeting with a higher-up at the DOD. Henry was friendly, John hadn't so much texted since Thom had left the West Wing. Henry didn't ever know about him and John. Probably for the better. 

Thom gave his name to the host at a nice, old-school supper club, and was lead to a private dining room. He expected some DOD lackey, not--

“Secretary Greene. What a surprise.”

“Representative Pinckney. Pleasure meeting you. Take a seat.”

Henry Laurens was good. Thom made a note to get him a nice bottle of bourbon for Christmas. 

“Senator Laurens didn't tell me you'd be here.”

“Because Henry didn't know, either. You've been making quite a bit of noise around the DOD, and I don't think you want to get the runaround.”

“Well, when you suddenly learn that the biggest employer in your district is on Defense’s chopping block, I suppose a little noisemaking is in order. Especially when there are more pressing issues in Washington.”

“You are very devoted to your constituents.”

“It's my job..Though your bosses behavior hasn't made it any easier.” The unending stream of angry phone calls and emails had only just started to subside. Conservatives called Thom a “corrupt cocksucker”, liberals called him “cowardly” for refusing to defend the President and the First Lady, and the Gay and Lesbian Republican Caucus was in disarray. Just what Thom wanted with a reelection coming up next year. 

“Do you want to air your grievances about the President, or discuss the BRAC hearing? Because I'm only meeting you for one of them.”

“Fine. The hearing.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, a date would be nice. It's difficult to prepare without a timetable.”

“Our current plan is to start hearings as soon as the Congressional hearings about, uh, “daddy-gate” are completed.”

“That's awfully presumptuous of you.”

“We're presuming that once everything is said and done, the President will be able to focus on running the country.”

Greene had sat in on the vetting when Washington was being considered for Veep. They both heard George answer “No, sir.” when the lawyer asked if he'd had “a homosexual encounter.” Greene knew this. 

“You seriously don't think that there's going to be any groundbreaking revelations about the biggest political sex scandal in history that just might prove that the President is being dishonest and unfit to serve as Commander-In-Chief.”

“I don't. I think you and your colleagues will do a lot of browbeating about his personal life, and complain that a public servant’s private life isn't up for public assumption, but in the end, there will be no smoking guns.” Greene smiled. “And if you do your due diligence and present good comments, I think you'll be perfectly fine at the BRAC hearing.”

“I see.”

_ Due diligence.  _

If Charleston loses the base, under his watch, his political career is over. He'd been lucky to get a fresh start after being kicked out of the West Wing, and he didn't know how long his luck would hold out. 

Vettings aren't legally binding. POTUS didn't lie under oath. And Greene hadn't explicitly threatened or blackmailed him. If the base stays open, Thom gets reelected. His constituents will be happy. Henry hinted that this term would be his last, the press had hounded him because of John, and if Thom played his cards right, he could get his endorsement. Fine. 

He'll play this game just once.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BAAAAAAAAAAACK  
> Apologies for the delay, I was under the weather. I hope you enjoyed the implied hatesex and Gay Republican Angst.


	25. I wish that I knew what I know now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “At this point, Friedrich, I have nothing left to lose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the eve of the Congressional hearings. Whee!

_ Twenty years earlier _

 

D.C. is dull and bland. The men are just as dull and bland. Orientation for new representatives is a sea of Ken dolls in drab suits. There is one man, Washington, from Virginia who stands out from the crowd. Handsome, sharply dressed, like he doesn't make his wife pick out his outfits from Jos. A. Bank. Well-built under his suit. Very nice hands. There's a wedding ring. Too bad. 

 

Washington turns, catches him staring. Grins.  _ Well _ .

  
  


*

  
  


“Look George, I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of weekend flings.”

George looked inscrutable. 

“You said you didn't want anything serious, Friedrich.”

“I don't. But I can't hide anymore. I'm not like you. I can't just hide behind some sham marriage and--”

“Don't you dare insult my marriage again. Get out.”

“Fine.”

  
  


*

 

_ Present Day  _

  
  


“A White House state dinner honoring LGBT activists. I never thought I'd see the day, George.”

“I only wish it was during happier circumstances.”

George looked tired. It looked like he had inherited Alex’s dark circles. The whole First Family looked a little worse for wear. 

“It's a pretty bold move, I must say.”

“At this point, Friedrich, I have nothing left to lose.”

“What about the hearing?”

George sighed and drained his bourbon. “I'll be the last to testify.”

“And I'll be the first.”

“I didn't know they subpoenad you."

"It is what it is. Any advice?"

Don't lie.”

“I won't. I'll try not to make things too difficult for you, either.”

George raised an eyebrow. 

“Look, I was a real shithead to you. I'm sorry.”

“I think you've grown soft in old age.”

“No. It'll be more fun to direct my ire at the committee members.”

“Mmm.”

  
  


*

  
  


FROM: [♡Maria♡]

Does your apt have a doorman? 

  
  


TO: [♡Maria♡]

No.

 

FROM: [♡Maria♡]

Mine does.You're staying with me. Pack a bag. I'll be at yr place in 20.

  
  


The first thing Maria did was install a blockbot on Peggy’s laptop and phone. “This'll keep trolls out of your Twitter mentions.” Then Maria was showing Peggy every trick to lock down the rest of her social media, and what to do in case assholes doxxed her. 

“I've already filed a report with DC police, so if anyone tries swatting us, they know what's up.”

“Swatting?”

“Yeah. When assholes try and call a SWAT team on you.”

“Jesus.”

“Never underestimate the self-righteous anger of an Internet mob. Ben hasn't been bothering you, has he?”

“Nope.” Then again, Peggy had blocked his number. Fortunately, they were all testifying on separate days. “I'm scared I'm just gonna lose my shift and start crying.”

“Well, just don't cry and lie at the same time. Lying will fuck up your life. Crying is good. Just don't ugly-cry.”

“Huh?”

“Cry, but make it pretty. Old politicians eat that shit up. Like this.” Maria took a deep breath, her lip quivered, and tears streamed down her face. “Your honor, you don't understand what I've been through. This man made my life a living hell.”

Maria snapped out of her waterworks, dried her eyes, and grinned. “See? Like that.”

“Jesus Christ, Maria, how did you learn to do that?”

“This is so not my first rodeo, Peg.”

  
  


*

  
  


“We say nothing. You have no idea who wiretapped the hideaway. It'll be the easiest way.” Aaron had met Dolley halfway, at a small diner. 

“Understood. I had no idea about the wiretapping, no idea who did it, left Jefferson’s office due to--”

“A more generous offer from QGA.”

“Works for me. I better get going, I have to pick up Theo from ballet.”

“Good luck next week.”

“Sure thing, Dolley.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. Interlude (everything on the Internet is true)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cross section of #daddygate shitposts and discourse.

great now I have to kinkshame the president

 

Fifty years from now, people will ask us where we were when we learned that President Washington likes being called “Daddy”

Bless the tags on this post:

#trivia night #dinner with my super-religious family #okay no joke but I was legit at a BDSM dungeon #yeah that was weird #church choir practice #i was on the toilet #i checked my phone after sex

 

Okay, does anyone else think Martha Washington and Eliza Schuyler are a couple? Or is that just my overactive lesbian imagination?

Bringing this post back because **CALLED IT**

_#holy shit I have lesbian superpowers_

  


But which one is the handmaiden and which one is the feudal lord?

_#alex gives me handmaiden vibes tbh_

 

I just love how two violent imperialists who murdered countless POC overseas are now being lauded by the HRC. :) :) :)

This post is bad and you should feel bad.

 Casual reminder that George's stepson died in Iraq, and protesters picketed the funeral. Alex has spoken pretty open about serving in the Army because he couldn't afford college otherwise, and how conflicted he felt about Afghanistan.

Tmw u call a gay Black man and a bi Latino man, both vets “violent imperialists” to make a point about  “POC”

  


Bae: come over

Me: I can't, I'm the leader of the Free World

Bae: My parents aren't home

_georgewashingtonjogging.jpg_

_#yes I know Alex’s mom is dead and his dad is a deadbeat it's a meme please chill_

 

 

Holy shit Alexander Hamilton went on a Twitter rant.

“Alex Hamilton goes America On Gawker’s Ass.”

This is beautiful

If you can, I'd highly recommend donating to any of the organizations Alex mentioned.

  


If you need proof of the violent depravity of males within patriarchy, look at how everyone is celebrating the abusive behavior of the President

_#BDSM should be illegal_

What

FYI, House and Senate Republicans are pushing for a full investigation and impeachment of Washington. Because House and Senate Republicans are secretly radical feminists.

“Bring back the anti-sodomy laws!” -radfems

“It's okay to hit people as long as I have an orgasm from it”

-libfems

 

 

GUYS.

With the awful outing of the First Family and #daddygate (gag me), I just realized something from a trip to New York I took a few years ago.

So, I get to the hotel, and I get up to the room, and the couple next door is two men. One tall, older Black man, and a short younger guy, with long hair. They look like they had gone shopping.

Later that evening, I'm trying to watch TV, and the dudes next door are going at it. Loudly. Really, really, really loudly. I keep hearing “harder”, “Daddy”, and “George.” over and over again. Like I said, dude was _loud_. Anyway, next morning, there's an envelope under my door. There a note that said something like “sorry for disturbing your sleep, hope some coffee will make up for it”, with a $50 Starbucks gift enclosed.

Thinking back, the couple looked an awful lot like George and Alex.

**Tl;dr** I'm like, 90 percent sure George Washington gave me a “sorry about the loud sex” pity present.

@whitehouse please confirm

HOLY SHIT ALEX HAMILTON CONFIRMED IT ON TWITTER:

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

Yep, we always loaded up on Sbux gift cards whenever we went on vacation. Sorry to anyone we shared a wall with.

God Bless America.

 

 

But how does Eleanor Roosevelt feel about all of this?

Eleanor Roosevelt: who are you?

Martha Washington: I'm you, but stronger. 

#I feel like she'd be happy for Martha and Eliza #but really pissed off at the press  


  
  
"Draw me like one of your French Girls"-Alexander Hamilton. 

#I would not be mad if someone drew this

Here ya go:  _imgoingtohell.jpg_

Holy shit this is amazing thank you.

 

 

Live look from the American Politics RPF tag on AO3:

_dumpsterfire.gif_

#I'm not okay #why are people writing porn about the President #I don't need that in my life #I am a pure person who is good #fix it jesus 

 

 Fun fact: George isn't the first gay president. 

#buchanan was a lifelong bachelor cough cough 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can find a photo of Cjack running or jogging, I'll gladly insert it into this chapter.


	27. Stay Alive (Day 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I heard rumors. Nothing more, nothing less.” It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a lie if he kept repeating it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HEARING TIME!
> 
> Featuring:
> 
> -Von Steuben learning that hindsight is 20/20
> 
> -Aaron Burr being not horrible 
> 
> And
> 
> SURPRISE THREECHUM REFERENCES.

“Senator Von Steuben, describe your relationship with the President.”

George had told him not to lie. Friedrich was not going to lie. He was not going to complicate things more than they already were. He was not going to tell the entire honest truth, either. That would be embarrassing. His younger self would relish in it, but he was older now. Vulgarity was a weapon that had to be used with the utmost caution. 

“Professionally, we were colleagues in the House and Senate. We collaborated on legislation. We butted heads at a few debates when we ran for President.”

“And personally?”

The question came from Pinckney. He was quite handsome, but there were rumors he'd been cozy with Jefferson and Madison. Besides, Friedrich didn't sleep with Republicans. 

“Personally, we dated very briefly during our freshman terms in the House, and have remained friends ever since.”

Okay, maybe  _ friends _ was a stretch. But it sounded good. 

The committee was at a loss for words. 

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“Mr. Pinckney, use your imagination.”

  
  


*

  
  


**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Well, the 1st day of hearings certainly aren't boring…

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

Sassy Von Steuben is the best Von Steuben 

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

The Virginia vet

Meets the Cape Cod Communist 

I do not ship it

 

**Hercules Mulligan @HerculesMulligan**

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????

  
  


*

  
  


Hercules spat out his beer at the TV. 

“ _ What the shit _ \--Alex, did you know this?”

John had come back to town to provide moral support. Alex managed to make it to Hercules and Phillis’ apartment without tipping off the press. George had confiscated his phone and laptop. 

Alex smirked. “He told me  _ after _ we went to one of his parties and fucked on his boat.”

“Jesus Christ that must've been awkward.”

“Not as awkward as having to tell him about William Duer and Kitty Livingston.”

  
  


*

  
  


“How briefly did you date?”

“Six months.”

“Why did the relationship end?”

Rep. Clinton should've been thrown out of office years ago. What a prying busybody. 

“When Washington was elected to the House, sodomy was still illegal in Virginia. He had a different set of rules to follow. I didn't under that. I wanted to come out, and be able to date without hiding. George wasn't ready to do that. I said some very regrettable things about his family and that was that.”

The President would watch his apology for his asshole behavior on CSPAN. There weren't enough single barrel reserve bottles of bourbon in the world to make up for that. 

  
  


*

  
  


John stared at the television, sipping his beer. 

“I'm surprised they didn't subpoena you, John.”

“Pinckney’s on the committee. I really don't want to try and explain that. Neither does he, probably.”

Hercules stared at him. John got  _ hounded _ by the press, hell, they had swarmed him at the airport. John was stuck between  wanting to defend Alex, and wanting to avoid his private life spilling across every breaking news crawl. 

“Makes sense.”

  
  


*

  
  


There was a photo of Theodosia in Aaron’s wallet. He moved it to the front pocket of his suit. Follow the plan. Answer the questions. 

“You were Senator Washington’s Policy Director, is that correct?”

“That is correct.”

“Do you recall when he hired Alexander Hamilton?”

“Yes. I was the one who met him on his first day.”

“And what was your impression of Mr. Hamilton?”

_ He talked too much. Arrogant. Brash. Aggressive.  _

“Very driven. Intelligent. Professional.”

“In your opinion, was he qualified for the position?”

“Of personal aide? Yes. Very qualified.”

  
  


*

  
  


**John Laurens @LawyerLaurens**

Aaron Burr managed to set fire to a printer when we interned at the White House. #feeltheburrn

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Beep Beep boop. I am

Aaron Burr, robot lobbyist.

Beep less, smile more.

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

“I love lamp.” Aaron Burr, probably. 

  
  


*

 

“What was Mr. Washington’s relationship like, Mr. Burr?”

Aaron swallowed. “Close. But professional.”

“Were you aware that they had a sexual relationship?”

_ Choose your words carefully, Aaron _ .

“I heard rumors. Nothing more, nothing less.” It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a lie if he kept repeating it.

“And where did you hear those rumors?”

“Senator Jefferson’s office.”

  
  


*

  
  


**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

HOLY SHI-

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

Jefferson spreading sleazy rumors? I'm shocked, shocked I say.

  
  


*

  
  


“What were the specifics of these rumors?”

“At first, he claimed that Alexander was Washington’s illegitimate child. Then, he started saying things about how “Washington wasn't a father so much as a Daddy.” 

“Did he ever elaborate?”

“No. I had just started working for him and I was put off by the whole thing. So I left.”

“Did anyone else on Washington’s staff know?”

“Frankly, I'm not sure. I wasn't close with any of the staff.”

It was the most honest thing he had said all day. 

  
  


*

  
  


Lafayette glared at the television screen. “Precisely what is Burr doing?”

“Covering his own ass, and ours in the process.”

Hearing George swear, even mildly was still a shock. “But why? What does he get out of this?”

“He gets to go home with his daughter and doesn't have to deal with too much prying about his relationship with Jefferson.” George sighed. He looked exhausted. “Alexander went out of his way to keep Burr out of a federal tortious intrusion charge. I suppose this is Aaron’s way of returning the favor.”

A favor for a favor. Not entirely unheard of in the realm of politics. 

Burr finished his testimony.  

Gwinnett announced the next person. John Andre. 

“Why the  _ fuck  _ is Andre testifying?”

“Language, Gilbert.”

  
  


*

  
  


“Mr. Andre, how long did you work for Mr. Washington?”

“Two years.”

“And what was your position?”

“Personal aide.”

“And how did you get that job?”

“My family had close ties with the Franklins and the DNC. Washington’s Chief of Staff gave me a call and told me there was a position open. He interviewed me and I was hired.”

“What were your day-to-day duties?”

“Attending meetings, screening calls. Reminding George about names, faces, policies. Duties varied from day-to-day.”

Andre swallowed. The subpoena had caught him off-guard.

“What kind of perks or bonuses did you receive?”

“I received a bonus at Christmas, attended a few events, got to network with other Senators, things like that.”

“What was George like, as a boss?”

“Demanding. But, professional. Had a high standard.”

“Did you know he was gay?”

“No sir.”

“Did he ever do or say anything inappropriate? Off-color? Make a pass at you?”

_ You're barking up the wrong tree.  _

“No sir. I mean, Washington didn't even like swearing.”

_ Lafayette was the one who stared at him, looked him up and down as he complimented his suits. Lafayette had been the one to introduce him to Adrienne, who was very pretty and flirtatious. Lafayette had been the one to say “Adrienne was quite taken with you the other evening. She wouldn't stop talking about you”, with a knowing look.  _

_Lafayette and Adrienne were the ones to invite him to dinner. It did not take long to figure out that Andre was the one on the_ _menu_. 

Andre could vaguely register the committee's questions and that he was responding to them.

_ “I've never done this before.” Andre is kneeling in front of Lafayette. Lafayette only chuckles. “The same goes for myself. It's never too late to try new things, I suppose. Now get to work.” _

  
  


_ * _

  
  


**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

What's the point of having John Andre testify? Idgi. 

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

@FasterThanYou probably to compare/contrast George’s treatment of his former PA to how he treated Alex?

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

@PBarkerQuorumCall Gotcha. 

  
  


*

 

_ Andre can't stop moaning around Lafayette’s cock. Adrienne fucking him from behind with a glass dildo is not helping matters. It feels good and overwhelming and it's too much and he's spilling onto the floor. Lafayette keeps fucking his face until he pulls out and comes onto his face.  _

_ Lafayette drives him home. _

  
  


*

 

“And why did you leave your position with Washington?”

_ “I did this to indulge in a fantasy Adrienne has had for a very long time. It won't happen again. If you don't feel comfortable seeing me at work, I will be happy to write you a letter of recommendation.” _

_ Andre finds a new job without Lafayette’s help.  _

“I was offered a more lucrative position with greater responsibility elsewhere.”

“Did you stay in touch with Washington?”

“No sir. I mean, I ran into his staff occasionally, but that's DC for you.”

_ He runs into them during the shutdown. They take turns using his mouth; Adrienne sitting on his face and riding him, and then Lafayette fucking his mouth and spilling down his throat with a snarl. _

_ “This week has been extremely stressful. Thank you.” _

_ That was the last time. They're married with a child now. Andre keeps downloading and deleting Grindr.  _

“No further questions, Mr. Andre.”

  
  


*

 

Alex is four beers in, and sways when he gets off the couch. 

“Need a ride back?”

“George’ll send a car.”

“How are you feeling?”

“M’alright. Coulda been worse.”

  
  


*

 

Lafayette paid rapt attention to the end of the first day of hearings.

“You testify tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Think you can work with this?”

“Mhmm.”

“Good.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I don't get sued by House of Cards.


	28. Stay Alive  (Day Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George hadn't struck him as the type to prefer the company of men. He was married, wore a wedding ring. Then again, Americans were very peculiar about these things. Best not to judge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert du Motier, Marquis De Lafayette, goes head to head with stuffed suits.
> 
> It goes as well as you'd expect. 
> 
> Content note for brief mentions of anti-Semitism.

_ “Congratulations, Senator Washington. I'm sure bringing new jobs to Virginia will please your constituents.” _

_ “I hope so. I have a reelection coming up next year.” _

_ They were celebrating in a small bistro in the Marais. George and Gilbert had met a few weeks prior at an NAACP event, and George had asked Gilbert to join him on a business trip to Paris. “I need an interpreter, and I don't speak a lick of French.” Gilbert leapt at the chance to take a break from State Department pablum and work with one of the Senate's rising stars.  _

_ “Anything you'd like to see tonight, Senator? Besides tourist traps.” _

_ “Well, where would I find a place where I could meet other gentleman?” _

_ George hadn't struck him as the type to prefer the company of men. He was married, wore a wedding ring. Then again, Americans were very peculiar about these things. Best not to judge.  _

_ “I'm not a regular visitor at such places, but there are a few around here I can recommend. Will you require a, how you say, “wingman”?” _

_ “Anything to alleviate the language barrier, Mr. Lafayette” _

  
  


*

  
  


“How long were you Chief of Staff?”

“Six years. Not including my current time in the White House.”

“Can you recall when Mr. Hamilton was hired?”

“Yes.”

“Can you be more specific?”

Gwinnett had always been such a dolt, and showed no signs of changing his behavior.

“Mr. Hamilton was working for the press, and had been informed of staff changes in Washington’s office. He interrupted Washington during a lobbyist dinner to ask questions. Washington sent him away, but Alexander had forgotten his phone. Washington was taken by his enthusiasm and interviewed him for an open position. He was hired.”

Lafayette omitted how Laurens had tipped him off about Andre’s sudden departure, about how George would not stop talking about the wild young man, about the favors Lafayette called in to get his school and military records, how Washington got that  _ look _ when he talked about Alex, the look he had when he wanted something, and he wanted something  _ now _ . 

“It's our understanding that you were typically involved in any hiring decisions.”

“Typically. Not always. George had final approval on all candidates. His interviewing a promising candidate was not completely out of the ordinary.”

  
  


*

  
  


**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Mister Lafayette 

And they say the French have no 

Courage. What bullshit. 

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Lafayette is the perfect balance of polite and pissed. ♡it.

  
  


*

  
  


“Was there anything suspicious about Washington’s behavior towards Alex?”

“No.”

“Was Alex good at his job?”

“Very good. Very intelligent, passionate, hardworking.”

“Mr. Lafayette, we heard testimony from Mr. John Andre yesterday. He listed his day to day duties.”

“I know. I saw it on C-SPAN.”

Andre. He was nice enough. Good employee,  _ very _ nice mouth. He helped indulge a fantasy Adrienne wanted to fulfill for a long time, which was very fun, but he was too blandly DC to sustain anything else. Oh well. 

“Mr. Andre and Mr. Hamilton had the same workplace responsibilities, but only Hamilton received lavish gifts and accompanied Washington on his vacations. This kind of preferential behavior is highly unprofessional.”

The nerve of some obnoxious Georgia swamp-dweller calling Washington unprofessional. 

“Mr. Washington helped resolve a visa snafu I had a few years back, sends us a nice bottle of wine every year, and invited us to dinner frequently. Closeness to one's employees is not a bad thing.”

“Mr. Burr did not mention anything about any closeness or special favors during his own testimony.”

“Because no one in the office liked Mr. Burr.”

  
  


*

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

“I know. I saw it on C-SPAN”

“No one in the office liked Mr. Burr.”

Lafayette is Not Having It.

  
  


*

  
  


_ A few hours later, and Washington, sans wedding ring, has his arm wrapped around a handsome young man. Gilbert’s work here was done. “I'll be back at the hotel, enjoy your evening.” _

_ Lafayette was woken up later that night by the sounds of incoherent French babbling. He chuckled and grabbed his pair of noise-cancelling headphones. _

  
  


*

  
  


“When did you learn about Washington’s relationship with Alexander?”

“Approximately three months after he started working in the office.” Christ, that was hell. Alex practically shaking with fear, Burr’s betrayal, stealing the drive and thanking God for his resemblance to Jefferson (Who knew there'd be a time he'd be greatful for that unfortunate resemblance).

“What was your response?”

“Mild amusement.”

“Really?”

“I've come to learn to withhold judgement about such things.”

“And why is that?”

“Being on the receiving end of such judgments and assumptions is exceedingly unpleasant.”

America, for all its odd idiosyncrasies, was better than France, in that respect. The American pundits might joke about his attire or accent, but the Georgetown student body hadn't taken to the streets, screaming “MORT AUX JUIFS!”. Yet. 

“Mr. Lafayette, you're saying you had no concerns regarding Washington’s inappropriate behavior towards one of his staffers, who received promotions and a considerable amount of favors in exchange for--”

“That's enough, Mr. Gwinnett. Have you  _ seen _ Alex at work? His work ethic is bar none. He is driven to do good work due to his own impossibly high standards. I had to instruct him to take breaks and leave the office at a reasonable hour, lest he work himself to death. I would not name my own child after George if he was abusing his power in any way. Adrienne would never have agreed to serve in his Cabinet. And, Mr. Gwinnet, if you find the President’s behavior so objectionable, I certainly hope you place the same scrutiny on your fellow committee members. Mr. Clinton did far worse, with less scrutiny and consequences.”

Gwinnett, finally, was at a loss for words. 

  
  


*

  
  


**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

Lafayette: [drops mic in French]

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@ ME NEXT TIME, @GilbertDeLafayette, JEEZ

 

**Deborah Sampson @DeborahSampson**

Dammit. Frenchy stole my line. 

  
  


*

  
  


_ “Senator, are you offering this position because I got you laid on a business trip?” _

_ “No. I'm offering this position because you assisted in securing a lucrative business deal, and because the State Department speaks highly of your work. Your discretion regarding my personal life is a bonus.” _

_ “Speaking of which, does your wife know? Since keeping your secrets will be one of my duties, I presume.” _

_ “Yes. We have an arrangement. I'd have an impossible time running for any Virginia office otherwise.” _

_ “I see. You want me to run your office, and say and do the things you are unable to say and do.” _

_ “Exactly.” _

_ “I'm in.” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	29. Stay Alive (Day Three)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT
> 
> Reynold’s current value as a journalist: the spare change you find in your sofa cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MARIA! DEBORAH! AND PEGGY!
> 
> lots of yelling and twitter commentary!
> 
> This also includes references to a couple other fics in the QPQVerse:
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/series/428653
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/6592432

DC is quiet at 4AM. Deborah ran at a brisk pace, wanting to sooth her nerves, but not get totally wiped by the time she had to testify. She passed a few hotels, saw some stragglers leave after nights of passion. No one important, though.

Nightstalker’s first big scoop came on one of her early morning runs: Some fuckass diplomat’s daughter had crashed Daddy’s Porsche into a cop car, and DC police let her go, despite the fact that she was slurring her speech and stumbling around.

Deborah watched from a distance and recorded the whole thing on her flip phone. _Nightstalker_ was still in beta at that point, so she sent out an email blast with the footage. It would be repeated on cable news nonstop for several days.

She much preferred _making_ the news instead of making the news.

 

*

 

Maria carefully applied a thin layer of Ruby Woo, blotted, and then reapplied. She stared at her reflection.

Peggy was still in bed. She sat up when Maria stepped out of the bathroom. “You should get ready.”

 _“Ugghhhhhh”_.

“Yeah, I no. But it's just one day. You'll be fine. I promise.”

“I go on after Deb Sampson, fucking shoot me.”

“Better than going before.”

  
  


*

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Holy shit is anyone else shocked that Maria Reynolds is wearing red lipstick?

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@PBarkerQuorumCall I am s t u n n e d

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

@PBarkerQuorumCall @xoKittyFisherxo XoJane’s gonna publish “My ten Fave Red Lipsticks To Wear When Writing Exploitative Clickbait”

 

**Lydia Darragh @LDarragh**

Idgaf about her lipstick, what's in that folder???

 

*

 

Maria had filed the Gawker emails into a slim folder. If they were going to fuck with her, she was going to fuck right back. Hard. George Clinton was the first to speak.

“Ms. Reynolds, why did you pursue this story?”

“It was an interesting story, I saw the writing on the wall, and I wanted to stay in Gawker’s good graces.”

“What was the writing on the wall?”

“There had been multiple, uh “pivots”, and several rounds of layoffs in the last year and a half. A lot of the people affected were staff who worked remotely. I wanted to remind them of my value.”

 

*

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

Reynold’s current value as a journalist: the spare change you find in your sofa cushions.

 

*

 

“When did you learn about the First Family’s relationships?”

“I mean, there have been rumors circulating for years. We always got tips about it, but nothing we could ever run.”

“Until?”

“I established a rapport with a Washington staffer.”

“Ms. Shippin.”

“Mmm.”

“Why was the President’s personal life of such interest to you?”

“A closeted President marries a closeted First Lady, and they screw around with their staffers, who pretend to screw each other. You don't think that's interesting, Mr. Pinckney?”

Pinckney didn't answer. Of course, that was to be expected.

“Did Shippin provide the recording of, er, um…”

“-Of Alexander Hamilton receiving a blowjob and calling George Washington “Daddy”? No. I was given that from another source.”

“Care to name that source?”

“Absolutely not. The funny thing about the First Amendment and freedom of the press is that it even protects reporters and publications that nobody fucking likes.”

 

*

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Maria Reynolds is the new poster child for press freedom? The world is turned upside down.

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

That quote from Reynolds is going to get repeated by every hack gossipmonger wrapping themselves in the American flag

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Maria Reynolds

Has an Electra Complex

News at Eleven

 

*

 

“Who edited the story?”

“Daulerio was my editor, Denton advised as well.They approved the photos and recordings.”

“Meaning?”

“Denton literally demanded that I find concrete proof of the affairs, or they wouldn't publish the story. They needed proof.”

“Why was that so important?”

“It's not libel if it's true.”

 

*

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

Maria Reynolds is lecturing Congress on journalism ethics 101. Shoot me

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

SPJ Code of Ethics Clause 2: Minimize Harm. Just an FYI

 

*

 

Pinckney again.

“The Washingtons and Deborah Sampson have stated that _Gawker_ made no effort to make a request for comment. Is that standard practice for your industry, Ms. Reynolds?”

“ _Gawker_ is an independent publication that does its best work when not bound by the standards of the rest of the industry.”

“So that's a no, then.”

Maria only glared.

 

*

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

“I DON'T NEED YOUR RULES, DAD. LEAVE ME ALONE.” -shorter @MariaReynolds quote.

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@PBarkerQuorumCall When we did the Jefferson story, we requested comment before publishing. Not rocket science.

 

*

 

“Now, it's our understanding that you resigned shortly after publication of your expose. Was it for, erm, “Daddygate” related reasons?”

Maria opened the folder.

“Yes.”

 

*

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

OH SHIT MARIA REYNOLDS BROUGHT THE RECEIPTS

 

**Lydia Darragh @LDarragh**

@FasterThanYou C H I L L

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

That sound you just heard was @gawker’s defense in Schuyler’s suit going straight into the shredder

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Wow. What's Maria endgame in tearing down her ex-bosses?

 

**Anna Zener @AnnaZengerCNN**

@PBarkerQuorumCall She's named in Eliza’s suit. She wants to lay blame on Gawker/Denton, not herself

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

So, @gawker demanded pix, then tried to throw Maria under the bus when advertisers got spooked. That's cold.

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

@xoKittyFisherxo ...according to Maria. Who's an unreliable narrator.

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Gawker Reporter

Shits in the middle of the room

Blames the catered lunch

 

*

 

“You see, Mr..Clinton, if you train your reporters to have an adversarial relationship with people in power, and demand that they take considerable risks in their reporting, you'd better be willing to back them up and maintain a firewall between editorial and advertising. It was obvious that Gawker had no interest in maintaining that firewall, so I left.”

“And where are you working now?”

“XoJane.”

 

*

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

CALLED. IT

 

**_Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou_ **

_@PBarkerQuorumCall @xoKittyFisherxo XoJane’s gonna publish “My ten Fave Red Lipsticks To Wear When Writing Exploitative Clickbait”_

 

**Lydia Darragh @LDarragh**

@FasterThanYou holy shit babe buy a lotto ticket

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

So Maria decided Gawker’s ethics were not to her standard, and thus decided to work for...xojane. Okay then.

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

@AnnaZengerCNN Tbh, who else would hire her? Not @QuorumCallDC,  that's for sure.

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@PBarkerQuorumCall @AnnaZengerCNN Nightstalker wouldn't even hire her to clean toilets.

 

**Samuel Seabury @SeaburyWrites**

@PBarkerQuorumCall @AnnaZengerCNN I'd rather fill @politifinderDC ‘s office with 100 @TheAlexHamilton than 1 @MariaReynolds

 

**Alexander Hamilton @TheAlexHamilton**

@SeaburyWrites I appreciate the vote of confidence, Sam.

 

**Samuel Seabury @SeaburyWrites**

@TheAlexHamilton You still owe me a thermos and a pair of chinos.

 

*

 

Deborah didn't care for dresses, skirts, makeup or manicures. She hadn't had long hair since she left the Army. But, she loved heels. She didn't wear them much in public, but she secretly thrilled at the sound they made on her hardwood floors. (Molly did too, on the rare occasions that Deb decided to take control.)

Deb had spent several weeks breaking in a new pair, one that matched her Vivienne Westwood jacket. She stared at herself in the mirror: faded jeans, heels, a T-shirt that read “JOHN STEWART DIDN'T DIE FOR THIS SHIT”,  and the aforementioned leather jacket.

“Hon, can you take a look and tell me if I look fucking stupid?”

Molly shuffled out of the bedroom, wearing her robe and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She froze as soon as she saw Deborah.

“Jesus Christ, Deb--”

“That bad, huh.”

“No, the opposite. You look like you don't give a flying iridescent fuck.”

“Swhat I was going for.”

Years ago, George had told her to stop slouching. Deb had rolled her eyes at that (she was such a shithead brat when she was in the Army), but George continued.

“You're very tall. Good posture will make you command any situation you're in. A tall woman who knows it commands respect.”

“And scares the shit out of every guy in the room.”

“Something tells me that you’d rather intimidate men then set their hearts aflame.”

Deborah held her head high as she sauntered into the room. She carefully flicked off her aviators and stared down the piles of boiled ham in ill-fitting suits seated across from her.

 

*

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

Next up, @DeborahSampson, @Nightstalker.com’s founder and EIC

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Only @DeborahSampson could wear a leather jacket and jeans to a Congressional hearing and get away with it.

 

**Lydia Darragh @LDarragh**

MY MOM NEEDS TO CALM DOWN

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

@LDarragh C H I L L

 

**Go Fug Yourself @fuggirls**

DAMN DEBORAH BACK AT IT WITH THE LOUBOUTINS

 

**Tom + Lorenzo  @TomandLorenzo**

@fuggirls AND THE MATCHING WESTWOOD LEATHER JACKET

 

*

 

“So, you've known the President for quite a long time.”

“Since basic training at Hunter Army Airfield.”

“And I'm assuming you knew he was gay?”

“Yes.”

“So, you've known for quite a while.”

“What exactly are you getting at, Gwinnett?”

“You kept Washington’s secret for a very long time.”

“Well, being stuck in a war zone during DADT was a real pisser.”

 

*

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

“DADT was a real pisser” #trufax #preach

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

A gay vet is talking about DADT to several members of Congress who voted for it.

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

@AnnaZengerCNN &none of those members have served in the armed forces

 

*

 

“Was Washington involved with anyone during his time in the Army?”

“It's really fucking hard to get laid when you're dodging mortar fire in the middle of the desert. Can you at least attempt to ask some relevant questions?”

“What happened after Kuwait?”

“George got married, ran for Congress, and I fucked off to J-school and law school.”

“Did you know about Martha Washington’s-”

“Yes. I knew.” Deborah took a deep breath. With the way this was going, better to tell everything at once instead of waiting for these dolts to figure out what they wanted to ask. “George had stayed in touch with Martha and her kids. Sent em postcards. Talked about em constantly. When he learned that Martha’s husband had died, he was...God, he was so torn up about it. He hated being single, loved Martha, and wanted to help the kids.” He also wouldn't have a snowballs chance of winning office without Martha.”

“Washington chose to marry a woman, despite the fact that he is gay. You chose a very different path. Why?”

“I also would sooner trim my nails with a lawnmower than run for public office. And I assure you that being a loudmouth dyke in undergrad and law school was no picnic either.”

 

*

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

@DeborahSampson is even more short-fused than when she testified about the Jefferson Scandal.

 

*

 

“You've been criticized for playing fast and loose when it comes to outing officials.”

Pinckney’s questions weren't as bad as Gwinnett’s. Clinton hadn't piped up at all. Yet.

“Mr. Pinckney, most of that criticism came from Maria Reynolds, so consider the source. We don't out aides or staffers, or politicians who have strong pro-LGBT policy records. We have outed officials when they've behaved as if they are above the policies they promote.”

“Could you give us some examples, Ms. Sampson?”

“We broke the story on Cotton Mather cruising airport bathrooms, Governor Hyde getting caught in a corruption scandal that included his secret boyfriend, and Thomas Jefferson assaulting a male escort after being caught in a network of money laundering and donation fraud. The last one got us a Pulitzer.”

“Reynolds referenced the Jefferson situation in her article, claiming you were being hypocritical in what _Nightstalker_ published.”

“Because Maria Reynolds and her editors know jack shit about federal wiretapping laws or journalism ethics.”

 

*

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE

 

**Kara Brown @KaraRBrown**

@xoKittyFisherxo That's not shade

 

*

 

“In your opinion, what is the difference?”

“When we got that recording from the escort, I immediately convened with my legal team. One party must know they're being recorded. The escort knew. Additionally, Jefferson’s behavior was an immediate threat to the safety of DC escorts and sex workers, and the public needed to know.

Neither George nor Alex knew they were being recorded, and their encounter was consensual. The only thing they threatened was the delicate sensibilities of straight people who can only fuck missionary with the lights off.”

For a moment, the committee was speechless. Finally, George Clinton decided to open his goddamn mouth. This was going to be good.

“When did you learn about the relationship?”

“Between the shutdown and President Franklin dying.”

“So, Mr. Hamilton would've been, what, 25 or so?”

“I wouldn't know. I don't send him birthday cards.”

“Did the age difference concern you at all? If not as a journalist, as a friend?”

“The age difference didn't concern me one bit. A 25 year old with a Master’s isn't romper room.”

She waited for the next question. Deborah liked playing with her food.

“But can you see why the American public would be concerned? The President having a sexual relationship with a staffer half his age? Who enjoys certain deviant behaviors? I mean--”

“You go first, George.”

“Excuse me?”

“You're the one who sent some _charming_ messages to my Managing Editor. What did you say? ‘I've been such a good little Bitch Boy, please let me cum for you?”

 

*

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS.

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

@xoKittyFisherxo is that an accurate quote?

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@PBarkerQuorumCall Very accurate. One of Clinton’s tamer messages, actually.

 

*

 

“And she was 19 at the time, wasn't she? And you were 40? Married? With a baby on the way? Seems like you're not the one to pontificate about acceptable age differences.”

“Ms. Sampson, my own unfortunate indiscretions are entirely different--”

“How? You bought her lavish gifts and shared some graphic fantasies. Worse, you hid this shit from your wife, and when you got caught you conveniently found Jesus and blamed everything on Kitty. She got death threats. You got reelected.”

 

*

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

“She got death threats. You got reelected.” Current state of sexual politics in America.

 

*

 

Pinckney valiantly attempted to restore order.

“The Washingtons kept a tight lid about their private lives. Did anyone else in the press know?”

“I wouldn't know. And George’s issues with the press fucking with his personal life have as much to do with how they treated Jacky than anything else.”

Jacky’s casket hadn't even made it to the United States, and yet every asshole in media camped out at Mount Vernon and the Russell Building requesting comment. Deborah broke three phones that week from hurling them against the wall of her office. Molly delivered casseroles to George’s apartment.

“And yet your staff has done the very same thing to other officials.”

“Please show me _one time_ we ever crawled up someone’s ass because their kid came home from war in a pine box. We’ve reported on deaths. We uncover scandals. We mock people when they deserve it. Hell, we've held the military over the fire when they tortured prisoners and looked the other way when women were assaulted. But I have never sent reporters to hound a Senator hours after he learned his stepson died in an IED explosion. We're done here.”

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

Who mic-dropped better? Sampson or Lafayette?

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

@AnnaZengerCNN it's a tie, tbqh.

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Deborah Sampson will

air out your dirty laundry

Do not fuck with her

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

Well that was a trainwreck. I'm disappointed Deb wasn't grilled about trying to pay off the source of the tape

 

**Samuel Seabury @SeaburyWrites**

Knowing her, she may have deliberately went after Clinton to derail any meaningful questions.

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Last to testify today is Peggy Shippin, who is accused of leaking sensitive info to Reynolds

 

*

 

In the end, Peggy didn't even have to think about her dead dog or her grandmother's funeral to start crying. The stress of being followed by the press corps, and by the tire fire that was her twitter mentions was enough.

 

**Sybil Ludington @FasterThanYou**

Aaaaaand there's crying.

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

Shippin is winning “Bad Millenial Stereotype” Bingo

 

**Lydia Darragh @LDarragh**

Peggy was upset that she had to do menial tasks and didn't like Alex. Um. Okay.

 

**Penelope Barker @PBarkerQuorumCall**

Peggy outed GW&Alex because Washington’s office was a “boy's club”. Such feminism, wowe

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@PBarkerQuorumCall #leanin

 

**Thomas Paine @ThomasPaineNYT**

Every time they try to ask a serious question, Shippin turns on the waterworks.

 

**Phillis Wheatley @LaureatePhillis**

Oh Peggy Shippin

Your White Woman Tears give me

The strength to keep tweeting

 

**Anna Zenger @AnnaZengerCNN**

Peggy is very upset that she was fired via Twitter

 

**Kitty Fisher @xoKittyFisherxo**

@AnnaZengerCNN truly the greatest injustice in this whole debacle.

  


*

 

“I can't believe I'm a meme. Fuck this day.”

Maria had went straight home after her testimony, and had a bubble bath and tall glass of wine waiting for Peggy when she got home.

“With any luck, Eliza or Martha will do something stupid tomorrow and everyone will forget about you.”

“Do you regret any of this, Maria?”

Maria thought about the threats, the takedown pieces, the hearings, the terse conference calls about the invasion of privacy suit. But there were the multiple offers for a book deal, and satisfaction that her name would be inexplicably linked to American history. That would never happen if she had kept her head down and looked the other way. She wouldn't even have Peggy in her bathtub right now.

“Not a thing.”

 

*

 

Molly walked into the bathroom, holding Deborah’s phone.  “You'd better take this.”

“Hello George. How are you holding up?”

“Reasonably well, all things considering. Alexander thought your performance was quite entertaining.”

“Glad to hear it.” Deborah stared at the ceiling. “I, I'm sorry about Jacky. That was a low blow.”

There was silence at the end of the line. “You did what you had to do Deb. Those idiots could use a reminder about how invasive people can be at your worst moments.”

“Mhmm.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References:
> 
> Anna Zenger was an early publisher. 
> 
> John Stewart is John Peter Zenger, an early advocate for freedom of the press. 
> 
> George Clinton is a quasi Anthony Weiner character, and Kitty is if Sydney Leathers was actually a good writer. 
> 
> (QPQ/Red Poppy Reynolds is also inspired by Leathers. Consider them the Goofus and Gallant of women who transitioned from sex scandals to journalism)
> 
> Deb's jacket: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e3/57/c6/e357c68803791d3a7e0d55fd1020c9d8.jpg

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [At Home With the Washingtons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6592432) by [LizzieRH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieRH/pseuds/LizzieRH)




End file.
